Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
It has been a long time since I have posted here. Our family is travelling pretty well. Just spent our first Christmas away and it was a healing, bonding time. We are all slowly healing, each at our own pace.
In November we moved after selling our home and are renting in a great location. Sadly my dad has been in hospital since we moved and moved into high care respite care yesterday pending placement in aged care, if he lasts that long. We are living within walking distance of my parents which is just as well as I am the main support. for mum. It has been difficult setting aside my pain from childhood physical and mental abuse by my father just as I started working through that with my counsellor.
The girls are getting on with life and in a much better space mostly. The older daughter in particular has done a lot of work to heal from her abuse. She wants to use her experience to help others and has already earned the respect of many. Our younger daughrer still finds itdifficult to talk about but is making progress too.
Next month our little puppy will join us, a red and white border collie who will be 8 weeks old then. We are so excited and know that he will help us heal.
In November we moved after selling our home and are renting in a great location. Sadly my dad has been in hospital since we moved and moved into high care respite care yesterday pending placement in aged care, if he lasts that long. We are living within walking distance of my parents which is just as well as I am the main support. for mum. It has been difficult setting aside my pain from childhood physical and mental abuse by my father just as I started working through that with my counsellor.
The girls are getting on with life and in a much better space mostly. The older daughter in particular has done a lot of work to heal from her abuse. She wants to use her experience to help others and has already earned the respect of many. Our younger daughrer still finds itdifficult to talk about but is making progress too.
Next month our little puppy will join us, a red and white border collie who will be 8 weeks old then. We are so excited and know that he will help us heal.
I'm glad to hear you've made progress also in counseling for you and I'm sorry about the timing of your father. It is quite difficult to heal and be too closely involved with those responsible. I'm glad you have the support of a counselor to determine how and when to move forward.
Blessings to you and thanks for checking in.
I had problems with the computer yesterday so didn't write as much as I had wanted. My counsellor recommended that I join a group of women who were all sexually abused as children as a way of working through some things in a different setting. We usually have two counsellors working with us.The sessions have been great but tough going. We have really clicked well as a group and want to explore several topics in greater depth and keep in touch with each other. The hardest part for me in some ways is to separate my abuse from the effects of our daughters' abuse, which has dominated the last 18 months of our lives. There is so much overlap and I have to be careful not to say anything about our son or what happened in our family.
Dh is finding his inner voice and is now confidently standing up to his family, who continue to blame us for the abuse. The latest accusation was that because we did not seek "professional" intervention when we suspected our son might be on the autistic spectrum we now have a responsibility to provide that assistance to him as an adult. They say we were irresponsible in raising our children the way we did and should have noticed the abuse happening, should have noticed this and that etc. It is a morale boost to see dh rising up and not taking these accusations on. He in facts finds the situation empowering because he is sticking up for our family and realising that although we made some mistakes as parents, we did a lot of things right too.
I really appreciate the help that this group has provided to us in some of our darkest times. Some of you stood by us in those times and provided comfort, wisdom, and encouragement that we would survive. I know that our journey is not over, but there are so many positives in this and each one of us is finding new strength, better ways of coping with the downs in life and appreciate our family even more as we re-establish our lives in new settings. Hopefully we will soon have a new home to call our own, but for now our rental home is a blessing on many fronts.
Yes, God is good. I began work in October which is beneficial on many fronts. It is just the right amount of time a week and the right mix of skills. A good way to get back into the work force after a break of 9 years. Oldest dd is loving youth group and is in leadership. She has plans to tour with a music group after school and wants to use her experience to reach out to other youth. The leaders are very supportive and encouraging of her journey and providing opportunities for her to be in ministry, mainly through music.
Youngest dd is loving rhythmic gymnastics and is looked up to there. We are so proud of both our girls. Their bravery, their inner strength, the way they have faced challenges, not letting their past dictate their future. Our time away as a family at Christmas really helped us as parents to see how far we have come as a family and appreciate many of the qualities we each possess, appreciate what great daughters we have and establish some new family traditions. The down side was having to suppress the sadness I felt at our son no longer being part of our family but having to accept that that is the right and best thing to do.
Stay strong women and reach out to others for help. Believe in the ability of your children and yourselves to heal. God will bring good out of a difficult journey. The tears do get fewer and further apart. I'm sure I have cried an ocean! Blessings to you all.