So I think I'm going to give an update systematically by touching on each individual in my family with the basics of what's what's happened in the last 5 months that I haven't shared yet.

My husband/their daddy:

My husband has been doing a lot better this year. His depression seems to mostly have disappeared.  His motivation to pour into his family has returned. Financially we're doing more than surviving, we actually finally have an emergency fund.  His job is stable and he got a small raise . He only goes to the shooting range maybe 1-2 times a year right now, where it used to be a couple times a week.  His health has remained steady which is nice for a change. We've made some good friends and even some couples that we've double-dated with.  He even finally is willing to try for one more little girl, to complete our family.  We've been letting nature take its course since New Year's Eve and still no luck!  He still has never gone to traditional therapy.

Me/their mommy:

I've spent this year healing from a lot of childhood trauma and I have finally gotten to a point in my journey where I'm attempting to re-establish, hesitantly and if possible, what resembles a typical relationship with my mother. I'm going to therapy every other week and have done some intense digging to get through lots of issues that do seem to all Trace back to learning that my ex-best friend, MOMster, betrayed me and not only abused my children but allowed my children to be abused in her home by her kids and possibly her husband, never telling me anything. I have done EMDR which has definitely helped. My therapist is giving me sessions pro bono. I have lost 60 lbs! I've used water fasting as both a healing method for my body and my emotions. I also do intermittent fasting and have a workout routine throughout the week. I have learned of some new triggers stemming from the most recent trauma that I have experienced. I am sharing this under me because I think it has affected me more than my husband...

The situation with our pastor who lied to us escalated to the point of him and the other church member who was accusing us of stealing and slandering by posting a public document on our church website (that our pastor had given us permission to, I had documented proof he had, but then he denied he did, us vs. Him) were going to put us under church discipline, making it difficult to leave the church and join another, if we didn't "destroy" all of the copies of this public document from our ownership. So within 24 hours of that meeting I took the paper copies that I had, ripped them up, threw them in the trashcan, took a picture and sent it to the pastor and this man and the next day my husband and myself sent in our resignation to this church, which were accepted & the pastor told the congregation we left "honorably."  Psh. (My choice on the ripping paper so they'd leave us alone; the digital copy was still online!)  We were able to leave without being considered "in sin."  We are now going to a new church and I've learned that certain doctrine that we were taught at the old church triggers things that these pastors used to tell me and how they told me. So aside from feeling betrayed by this one Pastor that I thought we were able to lean on,  I now see that some of the stuff that they did and how they treated us was wrong.  My husband and I have come to the belief that we had been in an abusive relationship while at this church. At our new church, (which is great), when they do communion, they also do foot-washing. I have learned this is a trigger for me that sends me back to a time that I was at MOMster's house getting my nails done by her and my little guy came in crying with monster boy following behind him and later on my little guy told me that he had been sexually abused in the other room while I was getting my nails done. So now when I get my feet washed or touched it sends me into that day and I feel all the emotions of broken heartedness, helplessness, betrayal & anger.  I have not had a manicure or pedicure in almost four years at a business because I was afraid it might be a trigger; I was right. It is actually one of my goals to be able to do that with my daughter when she turns 13 next year. I had always planned to take her for her first mani pedi when she hit her teen years and I don't want the monster family to destroy that plan. Anyways the church has been very accommodating of my PTSD episodes and I've learned that a couple other individuals in our church also have PTSD and we've been able to bond and share our different experiences with how we're coping.

My marriage is doing awesome and my homeschooling abilities have extremely improved as my anxiety has diminished & the kids have calmed.  I have learned that I believe I have a bonding issue because of the way I was brought up. So I'm working on that to attempt to be "normal."

Oldest son/cancer patient/victim of sexual abuse at 8/inappropriate with his sister:

My oldest son is doing quite well! He's holding a steady full-time job and going to college part-time. He's been living back in our home for almost 3 years. Relationships with his siblings have completely healed and normalized. He has not shown any interest and sexual stuff or even having a relationship even though he is definitely looking forward, wanting a girlfriend one day.  Mental health wise he does seem to have a mood problem but it's not been diagnosed yet. He says he wakes up always extremely grumpy and nothing that he does or medicine that he takes makes a difference. He goes to therapy about one time a month right now.  His cancer has been in remission for 4 years and we're on one time a year follow-up appointments.  He has his driver's permit and is working towards getting his license. He has matured quite a bit even though he definitely still struggles with being emotionally the age that he actually is (which is line with what his original therapist stated, 2-3 years younger.)  

2nd son/special needs/victim of monster boy:

This son has 100% graduated therapy actually by recommendation of the therapist because the one time that he went back for a couple of sessions it opened up Pandora's Box and he became obsessed about the abuse again. His therapist recommended that he not go to therapy unless it's an urgent matter he needs to discuss. He still has I think seven sessions left of his first 30 that were allowed for victims of crime. He just completed his first year of high school and did excellent and has grown so much as a human being and also in his development in Scholastic ability. He's a great hard worker, is sleeping well, rarely has accidents at night anymore, and barely ever triggers. Most of his anxiety that he still has revolves around his OCD issues.  He's gotten to the point where he actually wants to get married in the future but is not interested in a girlfriend at this point. Not too long ago he said he was never going to get married because then he'd have to sleep with his wife. There's no inappropriate interaction with any of his siblings and his anger issues have mostly faded. His health is excellent. My husband took him on his real "man date" this year and finished the birds-and-bees talk in Greater detail than he had to give him when he was 11, due to the abuse. Still goes to speech therapy one time a week and sees a special needs teacher one time a week. he now feel safe enough that I can leave him home alone!

Daughter/acted out with oldest son/victim of Monster family:

My daughter is 12 now. She was on a hormone suppressor for the last year and we had our last shot a couple months ago. Her body should start menstruation sometime this summer. She did a lot of work to get to the point where she actually made the call to not take the last shot because she said she was ready and she was wanting to use the summer to become a woman.  She is developing pretty well in regards to her emotional, physical and mental maturity. She's even gotten to the point where I can have her babysit my younger two for short periods like 20 minutes or less. I've really been working on her being able to think about others besides herself especially in regards to younger siblings so I'm very proud of her growing abilities in this area.  It is very weird for me though to have a little girl who is not naturally a little mommy. She's more likely to interact with younger children like a playmate then like a person in charge. Her Scholastic abilities have improved amazingly this year! She wrote her first real book report finally! Her reading has gotten so much better and she's actually be able to do a normal lesson of math everyday without having an anxiety in meltdown issue! she has become a self motivator in her swim team and pushes herself to do her best without me having to tell her to try. She still has accidents at night most nights but we have had some dry nights and she is taking steps to attempt to stay dry at night. She goes to therapy every other week they still do some EMDR here and there. I see new triggers happen randomly here and there... for instance we were at a military base learning about safety equipment and they put inflatable life vests on kids who volunteered, she being the first one with her hand up, and as soon as she connected that they were about to have them blow up around their necks you could tell she was having an anxiety trigger and she couldn't do it. The cool part is I got it on video we were able to show her therapist and my daughter did share with me that it has to do with something that happened. Her therapist sees her pro bono unless she turns in her paperwork on time and then she gets paid by victims of crime.  We do still struggle with self-care in that she doesn't have the best personal hygiene like brushing hair, even putting on underwear, taking care of the dirty clothes on her floor, clean room, etc.  However she has made some really good friends this year and that has seemed to encourage her in the right direction so I'm hopeful. She's perfectly comfortable around all of her brothers and they all interact very normally. she does not act out sexually in any way, shape or form anymore. She's been sleeping with our dog  and a night light with her door closed.  that's pretty big because she used to have to have her door open to feel safe!  she doesn't have to take melatonin to fall asleep anymore either.  And when we do we're almost down to 1 mg! She now feels safe enough that I can leave her home alone (which I do very rarely  only for short periods because I want her to feel like she gets the big girl opportunities too) because of the convicted pedophile that lives across the street  who's attracted to little girls apparently.  We've made a lot of good steps forward this year!

Little son/victim of monster family:

Little guy has improved this year but still struggles quite a bit with his emotions. He sees his therapist about one time a month and we pay for him out-of-pocket but we have finally been receiving our compensation checks from victims of crime. He finally grew a few inches! That means he finally ate and slept enough to do so! He still needs to take 3mg of melatonin to fall asleep every night. He still has nightmares but not as frequently. He mostly sleeps in his own bed now and if he doesn't, and travels, he'll sleep in a bed outside of our door so we can keep our door closed now. He still has accidents most nights but having dry nights is awesome even if it's not every night because before we never had any dry nights!  So he wears pull-ups to bed.  He's done a lot of processing in his journal this year and his school has done awesome compared to the former years! you can tell when he's having a day with anxiety because it manifests looking like ADHD  and he just can't focus or sit still.  He's an eighth grade reader, he finished second grade math and he just completed the spelling bee where he got all the words 100% correct and he's only in first grade. He can write 2 to five sentences in his journal now where I used to beg him to write one word. He did his first swim competitions this year and while he struggled with a little bit of emotions he's really connected with pushing himself to do his best getting over his fear of being near people in scanty clothing and enjoying his swim even if he doesn't get a medal or Ribbon. he's made a lot of good little friends this year and has really connected with his little brother in a playmate sense rather than it just being his baby brother. He doesn't do any sexual acting out anymore. He's okay with being a boy and growing up and getting married to a woman now. He's in good health.

Baby boy/special needs/NEVER abused by anyone:

My baby is more and more like my second child in his uniqueness. He goes to speech therapy every other week and loves going. He went to The Homeschool class Day this year and really grew socially in his ability to communicate and relate to others in his age group. We overcame his phobia of dogs by going to the library when they had the paws for reading program and having him interact with the dogs and just be near the dogs. Yes, we have a dog but for some reason he still had a phobia of every other dog out there but ours! He's still oblivious to the fact that he has lived with an entire family that had PTSD; it's just his normal. He's never been with a babysitter until this last month which was a big emotional step for me.  I have grown to love this one family at our homeschool class today whose daughter is in one of my classes and she's getting to the age where babysitting is required in her household and so I offered to let her do a job with my munchkin. I felt pretty confident that my baby was at a safe home as I've also interacted and worked alongside the mama of this house who was in charge the majority of the time. Needless to say I found a babysitter that I feel safe with. She did an excellent job! My munchkins sleeping issues have calm down since his brother right above him is having less nightmares at night. now he spends most of the nights in his own bed fast asleep. he still wears a pull up and stays dry more nights than his brother right above him but I don't make a big deal about it.  he does not need any medicine to fall asleep.  (Btw, my "baby" is 4 1/2  ;)

Things that bug me:

1)  when I spoke with victims of crime recently and I asked them to look up the information underneath the application number that I know relates to monster boy, they stated that According to what the police gave them, my oldest son is their "suspect!!!"  EVEN though, in the description of the crime, it clearly states my daughter named MONSTER BOY!!! >:(  That kinda proves what we've always suspected in regards to the detective not believing my kids story.  Under my 2 boys application numbers, suspect is listed as "unknown."  UGH

2)  Because of leaving our church after 15 years being there, we've had to basically start everything completely over socially. Luckily our new Homeschool Group and our new church have been a good fit and have been mostly positive. But it's difficult to be continually uprooted so much after the sexual abuse trauma that we had a few years back that already had done that to us. Out of everyone that we had considered friends, both through church & abuse situation, we only have a handful that have not abandoned us.  :(

3)   I hear my three victimized children say probably on a monthly basis how the monster family needs to be in jail and it breaks my heart to think that that might not ever happen.

4)  monster boy now has his own YouTube channel where he post videos that include content of things that my kids have shared with me that he used to do with them but the Rated PG version. Things like playing truth or dare.   every once in a while I catch a glampse of his sadistic joy to see someone else's pain. I really hope that his family's Cockiness and putting him out there for the whole world to see will backfire in their attempts to hide the reality and truth of what they did to my children.

That's it!   Romans 8:28