Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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bonnieboo11 07/30/2015

I am sorry I post so much but I already feel a connection to all the wise people on here, a connection none of us wants. I am calling daughters therapist tomorrow to inform her what happened.I am scared to death, mostly because I have to tell the story and I know it wont be the last time it will be told. It makes it real now, I have no idea what will happen. who we will have to talk to, what will happen within the family,ect. I am nervous and scared for my daughter, and for myself because God forbid more comes out.My stomach is in knots. I feel bad for the boy(her cousin) for what he is about to go through,it will change his life.I almost just want to forget this ever happened but I know if I do even though my daughter seems ok now, she might not be in the future.i have kept my daughter innocent, she is 11 and I just had the menstruation talk with her a couple mounths ago. She told me he talked sexual to her but she doesn't remember what he said, probably because she does not know those words, but one day she will. I don't want to do this, I would imagine she will never want to go to her grandparents house anytime soon because that is where it happened.No child should have to go through this, no parent either. Please pray to give me strength and my daughter strength to get through this. Its not fair, I taught her stranger danger but failed to teach her family danger.

96Percent 07/30/2015

Best wishes for the situation. I remember the day I asked my counselor, I hope I don't have to tell this more than once. Ha. But your situation is different. Our situation involves a divorce.

mobley4100 07/30/2015

Good luck, and just breathe. I think going through the counselor is a wise move as she is already comfortable with your daughter. Please do not blame yourself, my daughter was taught on proper and improper touch (and not just stranger danger) and it still happened to us (we already had a pedophile in the family). There is no way we can ever prevent this from happening, but we can do our best to raise awareness. Keep your eye on the most important thing which is taking care of you and your daughter, and don't let the reactions of those involved upset you - the fallout is ugly but that is out of your control an unfortunate effect of this issue. If more comes out it is okay, you and your daughter will get through this. My daughter (much younger) disclosed new details slowly over 5 months - and you are right, you taking care of this now will ensure and show your daughter that you did all you could for her in this situation in the future (which is huge for recovery). Good luck and come here and vent when you need to.

Naive1 07/30/2015

Vent here anytime. For months, this was the only place outside my therapist's office that I could say anything at all about what had happened to my daughter. In fact, please report back how it goes tomorrow. In spite of your jitters, you know this is the right thing to do. At this point, can you even imagine NOT reporting this? You're doing the right thing, and I support you!!

todayisgood 07/30/2015

I whole heartedly agree with Naive! Come here anytime - it can keep you sane and even more give you a platform to grow beyond this. When imbalances of this type occur you as a great mother need all the support you can get! Be grateful that it occurred now and not later! My daughter hid her abuse for over 30 years! Our relationship went through many ups and downs and finally we got to a point where she disclosed that her biological father had abused her for several years when she was a teen. This group helped me to catch my breath, compose myself and day by day I move to a higher space. We love and support you!

lusks1 07/31/2015

I haven't read through all the comments yet so please forgive me if I repeat. It helped me a great deal to take notes along the way. Every detail was written down. It is all going to be a whirlwind for you. The notes helped me remember answers to questions, and helped me remember who said what. And also helped me decide what to ask and/or do next. Names, phone numbers, details. We had a LOT of people involved after we made that call.

You have our support! No matter the outcome, we have all had unique experiences. We are here for you.

lusks1 07/31/2015

DO NOT STOP! I have thought SO MANY TIMES to stop the process it and walk away. Don't do it. See it through, It will be hard. Your daughter will hurt. You will feel like a terrible mother.

YOU ARE A GOOD MOM
You are your daughter's voice
You are helping your daughter heal and grow into a healthy adult
You are possibly helping her abuser become a healthy adult, since he is a child, and hopefully preventing this from happening again.

We lost an entire half of our family. IT WAS WORTH IT! My children are happy again.

Love to you

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