Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

908 Members
4,374 Posts
0 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Support Group

To move or not to move

ad0414
ad0414
I need advise on moving or not to move. One of the instance happened at my home and I really hate my house now. Also, the offender and supporting family lives in my town. Please advise.
Bandmom5
Bandmom5
The majority of the abuse happened in our home in my one son's bed room. The perp and his family also live in our town. We talked about moving, but since we bought a foreclosure and put an addition on and are still in the process of renovating, moving wasn't an option for us, we'd lose alot of money, and had 3 kids to put thru college. My kids like our home and our town alot, and after talking about it a few times, they decided they didn't want to let the perp have control over that in our lives. First I repainted and rearranged my son's room, then went one by one to the rest of the rooms and repainted and changed some decor. Now it's ours with new memories, very little reminds us of what happened in the past. We also haven't run into the perp or his family in almost 4 yrs. This is just how things went for us, it may or may not be feasible for you. I hope this helps somewhat. I'm so sorry you are struggling and need to go thru this. You're in my thoughts and prayers...
deleted_user
deleted_user
WE all understand how hard it is to live in the house where it happened and/or in the same town as the perp. If you can afford it I would do it. Thankfully our son (my daughter's perp) will be moving out of state with his girlfriend the end of this year. He is selling his house and she is in the military so hopefully they will not be coming back here. We have never run into him but would never want that to happen to us or our daughter.

I moved away at 18 because I couldn't stand the idea of living in the house where I was abused. I still struggle when I go to visit my parents in the town where it happened. They live in a different house now and my perp lives out of state but I never get a goodnight's sleep until I get out of there. I hope you are able to do what is best for your family. Hugs, Laura :)
Naive1
Naive1
Good luck with this tough decision. We had already moved to a different town before we knew about the abuse. I loved my old house, and always hated the house where the abuse took place. Now, if I still lived across the street, I would be tempted every day to toss a match on the place. I suspect that's not a healthy way to start the day. Do what works best for you economically, emotionally, and practically (can you find a place as close to work in your price range, etc.).