I am able to reply in more depth now that my husband is at work and I can get on the computer at home. First of all thank God for this message board and thank you Naïve1, mobley4100, 96percent, mummykke and bonnieboo11 for taking the time to read my post and reply. I am really torn about what the right thing to do for my kids is at this moment. I have two options that I'm aware of. I can either stay put in the home with the potential (nothing has been proven, kids disclosed 1 thing each to me and have since said they were kidding and forensic interviews didn't reveal anything) perpetrator (their biological father and my husband). This option is getting harder and harder and it's only been a week, but he is getting very angry and there is starting to be quite a bit of discord due to my constant watch, taking kids everywhere and not leaving them alone with him. He notices. I'm hyper vigilant and hyper aware and sensitive to everything now and am not keeping my mouth shut if something makes me feel uncomfortable. For instance, yesterday my 6 year old daughter said she wanted to play the quiet game with daddy (they were both sitting on couch with me feet away watching like a hawk), and then she proceeded to whisper in his ear, with him squirming around with this dumb grin on his face (trying to be quiet obviously). The reason she learned to do this is because her father will nibble, whisper, growl in the kids ears, which makes them crazy and they laugh and love it. WEEEELLLLL, I never felt this was appropriate, because this is something he used to do to me (when we still had a physical relationship) that turned me on (yuck - sorry - making me cringe to think about that now). I have always kept my mouth shut however, because I thought that it was me that was having weird thoughts about this, obviously it's not meant to be sexual! After Googling molestation like a crazy person after my children's disclosures, I now know there is grooming (!) and this and the tickle monster thing he does with the kids under a blanket, which they also LOVE, and to hear them laugh and carry on, I always thought this was fun and innocent. I hate to think that he might have been tickling my children in inappropriate ways and places in order to make them comfortable with inappropriate touch later. :-( So....I did say something yesterday. I asked my daughter what she was doing to daddy and he immediately got defensive and said they were playing the quiet game - same as they have always done and why was I asking? I said I wasn't comfortable with what Zoe was doing to his ear and it just got heated and ugly with husband. He will not even talk to me now. Fine by me. Back to my choices! So I can stay here where at least I can protect my children (I feel) and where the kids are happy (unless something happened - again - I'm not sure and SO very confused if I'm being paranoid or not). OR I can start divorce proceedings and get a non profit attorney (hopefully) for myself as I have no money (all bank accounts in his name) and have been stay at home mother for last 6 years. While he gets best attorney money can buy and I know, because he has told me, that he will fight for full custody. I can't imagine he would get that, but I've already talked to an attorney who said he would most likely get joint custody. Wouldn't I be putting my children in MORE danger if he was able to have overnight access to them?!! This is, if he's guilty, which I will try to write out my story today and post. So, while I do believe the kids might be safer away from him (if I was able to keep them away - but if he was granted joint custody, that wouldn't be possible), I still don't KNOW for sure anything happened, and if that's the case, I feel like I'm going to ruin their lives if I try to leave. 96percent - I would love to hear more of your story about why you stayed for 6 months and what that looked like if you don't mind. I'm so torn about so many things. I feel like I'm in hell right now. I'm responsible for making a decision that will affect so many, and I can't imagine making the wrong choice because I misunderstood what was said / done by my kids. :-( BUT I know I can't stay stuck. I must make some decisions and fast. Thanks for reading!