Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
I feel like I am wasting the beautiful precious years of my dd growing up, feeling ill, depressed and traumatised.....whatever treatments there are, they are not a cure for what has happened to our kids......to us......I don't wanna to kill my ex partner, my daughters biological father, death is too good for him, but god help me I wish he would suffer......but he truelly does not because he is evil......that kind of psychogical pathology that does not feel normal emotion, and family, and society in general, have backed him, and let him get away with what he was doing to our 4 yr old......and that, is somehow even worse......because 'normal' 'nice' people sat on a jury and gave him a not guilty verdict.......my faith in our societal systems is no more.....my 'faith' is not rocked, but I find little comfort in that......we have eternity for that.....I want to enjoy some of my time here on earth with beautiful dd
In the meantime, my daughter has managed to press forward with her life, and reach a new level of self-competence and self-worth. This has "healed" me more than anything. It is critical to celebrate every positive development in your daughter's life. With the long-lasting effects of abuse on survivors, it's impossible (and unwise) to ignore negative developments (that may be related to the abuse), but when you decide to pay attention to every good thing you notice, you will develop a reserve of calm that can help you weather the flashbacks and anxiety and distrust. Wishing you a peaceful week.
Can you risk prolonging your own pain, and the possible contagion to your daughter of your own symptoms? Children who have been abused become especially sensitive to emotional changes in adults. My daughter seemed to sense any little change in my emotions -- it was almost like static electricity. She was also often WRONG about how I was feeling. I realized (after she disclosed) that she would walk into the room when I was thinking hard, or concerned about something, and instantly assume I was mad at her -- she couldn't tell my concerned face from my angry face because her abuser had been so angry with her at times. A furrowed brow on my face was all it took for her to say, "Are you mad at me?" It seemed absurd at the time. Also, after disclosure, many abuse survivors blame themselves for their parents' unhappiness, which also makes them sensitive to how their parents appear to be feeling.
I would hope that a private counselor would not need to put social workers on the case if you are simply going in order to remain a positive, effective parent (or to fake it until you make it).