Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Your post to shattered14 really hit home with me. As a mother of an abused child I am completely estranged from my sister (her husband is the abuser) who thinks we are making too much of this. And my mother is at best ice cold and vindictive (towards me) as she blames me for destroying her family. My boys noticed almost immediately that grandma changed and became very distant after the disclosure. Dispite her feelings towards me I have done everything I can to keep somekind of normal relationship (though not the warm and fuzzy one it used to be) with her as I felt my children had already lost so much. I guess I thought with time she would come around. Three + years later I realize that it isn't going to happend and I'm ready cut my losses. When you said to shattered14 that you need to be away from anything that minimized his abuse I thought WOW. Three simple little letters WOW it just made sense.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for your kind words, I'm here for one reason and that is to help others deal with a very difficult situation. I do know that my wife has done better not having to deal with family who says to her "Can't you just get over it". Please, please, please understand you are never making to much of this situation. Your sister is clueless to the devasation that Childhood Sexual Abuse causes in it's victims.
I know for 100% certainty that a survivor needs to be around people who are compassionate to what they have endured. I know that children lose so much when thay are estranged from family, however family can be the most toxic thing they can be around. Most families try and sweep under the carpet the abuse of a victim/survivor to the detriment of the survivor.
Remember the best thing you can to for a survivor is question their feelings. They will always have a difficult time in wanting to communicate but being there for them and asking questions of how they feel sends the very clear message you care.
Reading your post to me about your mother and her feelings are pretty normal for somebody who has absolutely no clue what Childhood Sexual Abuse does to it's victims.... I would like to send you a letter which I sent to my wife's abuser which details FACTS about abuse and i think it may help if you share it with your Mom.
Please private message me you're email address.
Good Luck and remember talk talk talk to your sons and ask the questions how are the doing. I promise you the more compassion you show for what they went through the progress towards healing you will see.
Good Luck, and Thank you I know it is a very difficult situation but remember it can get better for all !!!
Keep helping people. Woulddoitagain, sounds like time to cut and run. I have cut out quite a few people in my life the past few months and then I have also gained some new positive ones. Prayers for you.