Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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crybaby 02/23/2017

I hit an all time low the other day, but finding you all and reading your posts is giving strength again....I AM NOT ALONE ANYMORE...

I am a single parent with no family, and friends who are busy, and quite frankly, don't really get it. I haven't been out for two years, actually I can count on one hand how many times I have been out since my daughter was born, she is six and a half.

I am suffering from sleep deprivation as my little girl will not go to sleep until 12, 1am, 2am, she stayed up all night once. Then she sleeps all day. I co-sleep with her as she is terrified of the dark, usually I have to take her to the toilet at night even though the toilet is next to us and the light is on.

She hates school and is suffering from acute anxiety. The doctor won't prespribe melonin, he has referred her to our child mental health services. The school are trying but they don't really get the issues either. Their responses to problems are like trying to shut the stable door after the horse has bolted.

Well after the biggest melt-down I have ever seen her have....like the worst 2 year old tantrum, I decided not to bother trying to get her to school....to just step back and breath....not make any decisions about external agencies etc for a few days/week whatever, and just to concentrate on being with my little and building up her self-esteem again.

TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO DON'T BELEIVE US......and actually many of those do....IF YOU JUST KNEW WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH. As for all those who advise us just to move on!!!! lol what a joke

When I think about 'him' I feel sick with rage...like many of your partners/exes, he has an entourage of devoted admirers...he is a music guy too. I have real anger issues. He was never arrested, and when we finally got to court, I was grilled for two days in the witness box, longer in fact than him, and then the got not guilty verdict. Now I hate the justice system and have little trust, beleif or respect for many of our societal structures.

I am impatient to feel better....I know I won't for years...I am scared of the future and what may happen to me and my daughter...hate him for this

hopefulmama 02/23/2017

You can buy melatonin,no Rx needed.My daughter was the same way,up until 1or 2then up at 8 to go to school.Sleep deprevation is a serious thing,it can trigger anxiety,flash backs ECT.I forget,you don't live in the US do you?Can you change to a more proactive doctor?When I backed off and let my daughter have some breathing room she was much less stressed.

ashley73 02/23/2017

So sorry for your girl and what you are going through. You do need some time for yourself!! If you don't take care of yourself first, you won't be able to give your girl all she needs at this time. BUT, how do you even begin to do that??!! I get it. Maybe you can find something that you both can do together to calm, sooth and heal both of your deep hurts. Yoga maybe?! Maybe some essential oils or aromatherapy / relaxation music before bedtime?! Maybe that would help her relax and finally rest. Sleep deprivation is no joke! I have been there and then to ad to it all that has happened. :-( I feel for you. I understand the rage and hate you feel for your partner. I also understand how it is to have very little family / friends who don't really get this. Have you thought about a support group - maybe one at a church that has daycare?! I am just so, so sorry. I know things can seem so bleak, but I believe they will get better for both of us. :-)

crybaby 02/23/2017

thank-you for talking to me......it helps so much to know you are/have been experiencing the same fall-out....this place is a haven for me.....finally somewhere I can be myself and talk about my child and me ...... we never meet but you guys are my best friends xxxxxxxxxxxxx

hopefulmama 02/23/2017

I think we should have a virtual coffee get together!

Naive1.2 02/23/2017

You are free to let it all out here. I'm so glad you're finding it helpful.

We all get it, no matter how different our specifics might be. This crime is not an "event" we can look back on and say, "Wow, that was a bad day!" The healing process is slow because there is not a part of your soul that is not affected by this crime. On top of that, we have to deal with all the present effects. We all lose sleep. We all have to deal with our children's meltdowns (the child's vocabulary is different when she/he is a young adult, but the effect is just as discombobulating and heart-rending), fears, and physical symptoms.

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