Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
So, 1st of all, it took me WAY too many contacts to finally get to talk to the victim's advocate. I went through SO many numbers to find an advocate and then after leaving 3 messages over a period of a couple weeks she finally got back to me and explained that she'd been calling the wrong number. Then she explained that I'd already been allocated a juvenile victim advocate and that's who I should call. She said I had spoken to her back in September? I had her look up info and basically I realized that she had called my husband in direct connection with my son's dismissed criminal case against his sister. That was 2 months after we'd gone to the police about him, o.k.
So I call this lady, our juvenile victim's advocate, and she doesn't even remember the conversation back in September. Then she can't find the case with monster boy but only the case with my son. Then after digging, she finds the case, both cases (our 1st rape report from 12/1/15 that was lost until our 2nd in person case was brought to them in mid January) but finds something really weird: there's no note from the district attorney at the end of the police report like there normally is when the case is closed without legal pursuit! She ends up listening to me break down and talk about all the things that have been bugging me about our case, like why my son's forced oral sex was not considered rape per CA law (the only difference is the perp is a minor!) and why in the world anyone would ever think I WANTED this drama by bringing allegations against this family on a personal agenda after the horrific year we had just come out of, the DAY AFTER our Make-a-wish trip! I also brought up the fact that I have text messages to prove my relationship with this ex-best-friend through December and I didn't understand why ALL of my kids were under 1 case number if each of them had things happen to them?! If my daughter is the only reason we can't move ahead, because of reasonable doubt due to her interactions with her brother, then separate out the kid's cases! I also shared that she had scars all over her body...particularly between her shoulder blades which I asked, how in the world could she have gotten those on her own?! I also shared that it was the detective that told me our case had been closed both for reasonable doubt and the thought that I might have an agenda against the family. I also told her that he was the one that told me to simply write everything down that my kids disclose "in case they need it in the future" and not report to CPS. She asked if I had told him everything I had just told her...YES, of course! She confirmed that it was the detective who had told me the case was closed and why? YES. She was shocked. She said she was going to talk to the DA and call me right back.
A phone call later and from the DA's remembrance, she never spoke to the detective about our case! Now, remember, this is almost 3 months later and we've never gotten a call from this advocate in regards to the case that is TRULY our nightmare! She wanted the detective's name and number...I found it and gave it to her. They're going to follow up with him and figure out what happened. I also asked her if the case could remain open on our number if someone else had a case against him? Yes, it's possible...I shared that there were probable other victims that could be going through the process right now. She didn't understand how nothing has been done on our case. But she did confirm that if we ever wanted to get a transcript of either the forensic investigations or the police reports that because it involves juveniles, we'd have to go to superior court, request and be given permission to get copies. This SHOULD be the same for my son so it makes sense that his case wouldn't easily be used to bring reasonable doubt! The only thing the family ever knew was that "inappropriate touching" occurred between my daughter and son and that it wasn't as bad as their son's abuse. They also know we sent him right away to get help and give our daughter space to heal. They also know that he has cancer. They also know his case was dismissed and that CPS closed our case. That's really it! They also know that we continued to impress upon them that our daughter had been raped by their son and that she'd witnessed the same happening to their daughter...and they did not remove him from the home, from the kid's group, from life.
I wish we had money for a lawyer...I point blank asked her "who do I talk to if they screwed up our case?!" I'm supposed to get a call today as a follow up to explain all the holes in their system in regards to my children...the victims.
So I call this lady, our juvenile victim's advocate, and she doesn't even remember the conversation back in September. Then she can't find the case with monster boy but only the case with my son. Then after digging, she finds the case, both cases (our 1st rape report from 12/1/15 that was lost until our 2nd in person case was brought to them in mid January) but finds something really weird: there's no note from the district attorney at the end of the police report like there normally is when the case is closed without legal pursuit! She ends up listening to me break down and talk about all the things that have been bugging me about our case, like why my son's forced oral sex was not considered rape per CA law (the only difference is the perp is a minor!) and why in the world anyone would ever think I WANTED this drama by bringing allegations against this family on a personal agenda after the horrific year we had just come out of, the DAY AFTER our Make-a-wish trip! I also brought up the fact that I have text messages to prove my relationship with this ex-best-friend through December and I didn't understand why ALL of my kids were under 1 case number if each of them had things happen to them?! If my daughter is the only reason we can't move ahead, because of reasonable doubt due to her interactions with her brother, then separate out the kid's cases! I also shared that she had scars all over her body...particularly between her shoulder blades which I asked, how in the world could she have gotten those on her own?! I also shared that it was the detective that told me our case had been closed both for reasonable doubt and the thought that I might have an agenda against the family. I also told her that he was the one that told me to simply write everything down that my kids disclose "in case they need it in the future" and not report to CPS. She asked if I had told him everything I had just told her...YES, of course! She confirmed that it was the detective who had told me the case was closed and why? YES. She was shocked. She said she was going to talk to the DA and call me right back.
A phone call later and from the DA's remembrance, she never spoke to the detective about our case! Now, remember, this is almost 3 months later and we've never gotten a call from this advocate in regards to the case that is TRULY our nightmare! She wanted the detective's name and number...I found it and gave it to her. They're going to follow up with him and figure out what happened. I also asked her if the case could remain open on our number if someone else had a case against him? Yes, it's possible...I shared that there were probable other victims that could be going through the process right now. She didn't understand how nothing has been done on our case. But she did confirm that if we ever wanted to get a transcript of either the forensic investigations or the police reports that because it involves juveniles, we'd have to go to superior court, request and be given permission to get copies. This SHOULD be the same for my son so it makes sense that his case wouldn't easily be used to bring reasonable doubt! The only thing the family ever knew was that "inappropriate touching" occurred between my daughter and son and that it wasn't as bad as their son's abuse. They also know we sent him right away to get help and give our daughter space to heal. They also know that he has cancer. They also know his case was dismissed and that CPS closed our case. That's really it! They also know that we continued to impress upon them that our daughter had been raped by their son and that she'd witnessed the same happening to their daughter...and they did not remove him from the home, from the kid's group, from life.
I wish we had money for a lawyer...I point blank asked her "who do I talk to if they screwed up our case?!" I'm supposed to get a call today as a follow up to explain all the holes in their system in regards to my children...the victims.
Sex trafficking of children is common. If you know of anyone or heard of anyone selling drugs, sex trafficking of children is bigger $$$ and more prevalent. The courts in Ca, I suspect are riddled with it / bribes.. Read saving Damon case. Read about the judges, behaviors.