You may want to tell your husband that you need to let them know the truth--it's better than going behind his back, especially if he's going to be mad either way. It's giving you and your husband the opportunity to have a discussion about doing the right thing in these situations, which needs to override keeping it a secret. Secrets are why these abuses happen and continue to happen. Keep your integrity by doing the right thing on both sides of the issue. Good luck.

First, are you talking about your step-son, you can tell her in many ways. Always reverse the situation , would you liked to of known. If the person has not received treatment he most likely will repeat the pattern. If he does molest her boys and you knew it can lead to so many more problems. If you can save any child from any kind of abuse please do it......It is hard , I know I would of liked to know about the boy that raped my boys. It would of saved us from having so much hurt and anger.,........ Best of luck and we are here for you.................If it were me I would 110% tell.

TELL! You must put other children first. And I would expect that anyone who knows will not want to be around your step son.

Maybe you should give your husband the opportunity to think it through by asking him what he'd do to protect HIS son. How angry would he be if it were reversed? Protecting children HAS to come first to prevent more children from experiencing a lifetime of hurt. If he's going to freak out, that's better than a child being hurt. I know it's a hard thing to come to grips with. Is there a counselor that can help deal with the fallout? Remember, support is here.

Me and my husband have talked about this before, and he deosn't want anyone to know about any of it. He honestly believes that step-son will never do anything again, even though he's not getting much help at all. He's maybe been to counseling 10 times since December when we found out. I can keep him away from my boys, but I know as a parent I would want to know about other kids. I went ahead and sent her a message just telling her to watch him being around her boys unsupervised. I hinted around but didn't give exact details, but did tell her that he is NOT allowed around my kids so she gets how seriousl it it. Thanks so much for the support here, I don't post much, but I've gotten alot of help!

Be careful, some people can not read "hints" tell her why, just remember if he does offend and you knew, that would put both you and your husband up for a law suit. I know because I am suing the parents of my boys abusers because they knew and like your husband didn't want anyone to know. So because of that my boys were put in harms way and now the abusers parents are having to deal with alot of legal stuff and nobody feels sorry for them, they are almost as guilty................................... Just think about the after effects, it destroys lives....................

Tell your husband to get ready to be sued because abusers rarely have only one victim! Why isn't your step-son in a sex offender program? My step-son never would have been allowed back in my home if I would have known what he did. And if my husband wouldn't agree to that then there would be a divorce!

Your husband is wrong, wrong, wrong!! And what about your other children? They must also be in harm's way if he is ever in your home. Show this to your husband and maybe he will wake up and smell reality!!!

Because of parents like him this sick abuse continues. Please do the right thing and tell everybody that you know might have contact with him.

Remind him about the Penn State/Sandusky case where many people knew about the abuse, and no one reported it to authorities; they spoke about it briefly amongst themselves and then kept it a secret in order to put a Big Ten football program as a priority over protecting the innocence and well being of children. There were many more victims than they ever imagined, and now they are all being held accountable. All they had to do was OPEN THEIR MOUTHS AND REPORT IT and act on the side of defenseless children, but they didn't. That is the lesson in that whole sordid affair--speak up and tell!!!

Step-son is NOT allowed in my house or around my kids. I talked to the mom and explained things so she knows what I meant, and was glad I told her. DH does not get it. He honestly believes that Step-son will not ever do this again since he got caught and is getting punished. When I bring it up he tells me I don't know anyhting because I've not been around SS to see how he is doing. There is just no fighting him on that subject so I gave up. I can protect my kids, and and the kids I know he is around, that is all I can do about this situation. We still have not gone to court, which is the only way to get into residential treatment around here, but even when we do, he won't be ordered to go. He will get counseling with probation. If we are lucky they will send him to another counselor since the one he has gone to a handful of times reports that he is a great kid, and will not offend again. And that was after only the second visit. I fully believe he's being paid to say great things about SS for court. He only goes when we are getting ready for a court date, which then gets postponed.
Every time me and Dh talk about this, it turns into a HUGE fight. I just don't have it in me anymore. A divorce is probablly in the near future, I'm just waiting to see how court goes. I can't live with someone who doesn't want to see the truth.

I am so sorry that your husband won't see the light. He is hurting everyone by not dealing with the truth. Chances just shouldn't be taken in a situation like this. I am glad your step-son is never around your children. We need more parents like you! I know how hard this can be and you are an amazing mother and woman!

I wish the laws supported the victim and not the perps!

I agree with what you have done in telling the other mother, like everyone here does.
Maybe you could help your husband to see that telling protects both other children and his son... since keeping him from unsupervised contact with other children would also remove the chance of reoffending. Wouldn't he most likely get probationary terms similar to this anyway? I'm not familiar with how juvenile offenders are typically managed, but I would hope that counseling and probation would include such restrictions.