Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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jigglypuff 02/19/2021

I'm coming here as I'm not coping ,

mid November my daughter told me that her uncle touched her , he looked after her for a few hours .
she took the whole weekend and told me the Monday ,
she was 4 at the time and now has turned 5 . I don't know how to cope, I've been to the police , not much is happening right now , she disclosed it to police , she seems to be coping well, so professionals don't want to talk to her yet, she's on a waiting list for a group counselling session, but that won't start up till next term ,

everyone keeps telling me not to blame myself but I do, we trusted him, and I failed her by trusting him, I never ever thought he would be like that, I've always tried to protect my daughter as I wasn't protected growing up .

guess I'm just looking for other parents to talk to about it ,

does it get easier , it's on my mind 24 7 , it's hard each day, I'm so angry and upset .

brknhrt 02/19/2021

I'm so sorry this has happened to your daughter and you. You aren't weird in blaming yourself, but you also aren't to blame in trusting someone you thought was OK. I know that sounds contradictory, that's one reason this messes with your mind so much and takes so long to comprehend. This is not the way the world should be, yet it happened, and it happened to your precious daughter.

I'm so sorry you had to search for us here but I'm glad you found the board. You're welcome to come as much or as little as you'd like as you walk this road. It is possible to heal yourself and your daughter but it takes time and it is going to be hard for awhile.

Some resources that I found really helpful:
mosac.net (Mothers of Sexually Abused Children)--a ton of helpful info
taalk.org--more resources, and weekly call-in support group
rainn.org (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network)--has a 24/7 confidential chat and call-in line, can be a lifesaver when you're losing it in the middle of the night or when you can't get ahold of any other support
stopitnow.org--more info on understanding and healing from child sexual abuse

Ancientsoul 02/20/2021

Jigglypuff... like you I'm on here cos I'm struggling, like me you're probably surfing the net looking for support. A huge thank you to brknhrt for suggestions for help especially the 24/7 chat in line, cos like yourself I find it difficult to switch off so it's constantly on your mind. Mosac sent me lots of helpful leaflets & were supportive n helpful. We need to make sure we stay healthy... cos our kids need us. Do things to occupy your mind, although it's extra hard just now because of covid. Try do self care to help mental health... Soak in the bath, walks, exercise to burn off anger, cooking, crafting, gardening, crosswords helped occupy my mind when my daughter 1st disclosed... It helped blot out bad negative thoughts. talking to others help although most can't understand... no one understands unless they've been thru it. Hope the suggested resources help. Sending hugs n healing to you n your daughter.

Naive1.2 02/20/2021

jigglypuff, you trusted him because he WANTED you to trust him, because he made it his business to make you trust him. HE failed your daughter. You are the hero who is going to help her get through this, while helping yourself as well.

Therapy for you is essential, because you, unlike a five-year-old, can see the big picture and it can make you profoundly unwell. Plus, you will be a role model for your daughter when she is ready to talk about it.

It will take a while, but you will come to understand that you are entirely blameless. This was the decision solely of the uncle.

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