Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hi everyone! It has been a long while since I've visited the site. I just want to share my feeling and get some input. My son who is now a 15 yr old young man was sexually abused by my sister's husband when he was 9. Most of the abuse happened in the state of MD but one incident happened in DC. I have not heard anything from the MD side but DC pushed through and the perpetrator was found guilty before a jury last Dec. The sentencing is this coming Friday, March 14.Our lawyer told me that the guideline says that he can get 8-15 yrs but because of aggravated circumstances she is allowed to ask for 20 yrs.
I have mixed feelings about all this. I'm glad that he can't hurt anyone anymore or at least for a long time but I'm feeling that it doesn't make that much difference anyway if he goes away because he already have shattered my whole family, my relationship with my sister is non- existent and with my mom , it will never be the same. We are like a broken glass that no matter how hard you try to put them together, it will never be the same. My son has been my strength through all this and he is just wonderful but he wants a relationship with his cousins, his best friend, but my sister tells her kids that it's my son's fault that their dad is in jail. I have tried to see things on my sister's side and I do understand some things and why she's doing them but blaming my son and putting a walk between the kids is just horrible.I can live without her talking to me but the kids should be able to rebuild the relationship that was torn apart by this monster.
The lawyer wants me to say something in sentencing and I am not really sure what to say. I want to tell him how much he has hurt us but I also want to say that although he hasn't admitted to it and never asked for forgiveness, I forgive him anyway. I don't have the energy to carry on the burden of hating someone .I'm not saying I will forget but I will put him and his evilness out of my mind and out of our lives.it may mean not having my sister ever again but, if it means that all the kids, my son, his little brother and my sister's kids are safe from this monster the. So be it. I feel sorry that they will have to grow up without a father but I would rather have them like that than be molested and abused.
I have mixed feelings about all this. I'm glad that he can't hurt anyone anymore or at least for a long time but I'm feeling that it doesn't make that much difference anyway if he goes away because he already have shattered my whole family, my relationship with my sister is non- existent and with my mom , it will never be the same. We are like a broken glass that no matter how hard you try to put them together, it will never be the same. My son has been my strength through all this and he is just wonderful but he wants a relationship with his cousins, his best friend, but my sister tells her kids that it's my son's fault that their dad is in jail. I have tried to see things on my sister's side and I do understand some things and why she's doing them but blaming my son and putting a walk between the kids is just horrible.I can live without her talking to me but the kids should be able to rebuild the relationship that was torn apart by this monster.
The lawyer wants me to say something in sentencing and I am not really sure what to say. I want to tell him how much he has hurt us but I also want to say that although he hasn't admitted to it and never asked for forgiveness, I forgive him anyway. I don't have the energy to carry on the burden of hating someone .I'm not saying I will forget but I will put him and his evilness out of my mind and out of our lives.it may mean not having my sister ever again but, if it means that all the kids, my son, his little brother and my sister's kids are safe from this monster the. So be it. I feel sorry that they will have to grow up without a father but I would rather have them like that than be molested and abused.
I would rather have them like that than be molested and abused.
You are a hero for many many people not just those kids... Don't forget to tell your son he is a hero too...!!! For
He is the one to be able to protect sooooo many others from this crime...!!! Sooo much thanks and gratitude to the both of you for perserverience...!!!
I trust that you will have a much fuller cup without the shattered pieces of that disfunction...!!! It may hurt to cut them out... But the pain that your child and you could suffer with them in your life would be far far
Worse..: you are a warrior and I am impressed with your strength...'so from me and all the children out their... Thank you for your effort...!!! You are my hero...!!!