Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
I just wanted to let you guys know really quick but I took my little guy to the doctor to medically document the scars that he has on his upper back also. Both the doctor and I believe that a knife or scissors was used to make those scars and his word to describe what monster boy did to his upper back is "crunch" which is different from "punch." I'm getting this appts records sent over today.
Yesterday was a little bit intense for me because when I went to my therapy appointment they told me my insurance has been cancelled and that I no longer had coverage. Did Back to the end of June and yet I was allowed to come to an appointment in August without any problems. Supposedly we had a piece of mail sent to us telling us that we owed on a premium do but we don't remember seeing it and it's possibly here but probably lost within the chaos of life. Anyways the irony of that is that my poor husband with health issues now has absolutely no health insurance and we cannot reply until open enrollment which will be at the end of October. On the positive side, I've decided to switch therapist and use the other therapist that we'd interviewed for my daughter that's very close because she takes victims of crime coverage and I wouldn't have to pay anything out of pocket and I don't have to wait until we have health insurance again so it works out perfectly fine! I did get to see my therapist for 10 minutes off the books but honestly I was so emotional and frustrated it wasn't really worth it. She was not a bad therapist I like her a lot but to be completely honest I'm just done with complications so I'd rather go somewhere I don't have a co-pay. I didn't have getting to spend a few hours with a really good friend who allowed me to not only share openly with her everything I've been going through but she even watched a couple videos of my kids just closing partly because she's still processing learning that her older sister had been abused by her father. She was an amazing help that helped my emotions stabilize last night. Very grateful for her and I'll probably share more about her in the future.
I did want to share with you guys that the local church made some changes on their property in regards to things that my children had shared. It was the other leader that believe their story who advocated for them in regards to these changes. One of the things that was torn down was the large Bush that monster boy to take my daughter under and sexually abused her while also stabbing her with knives and sticks. The other family or at least monster girl who was allowed to go to the Children's Group at that church property has to have noticed that that Bush was taken out. It's pretty obvious and I know that she knows that it had to have been because people told the truth about it.
The last thing I would love to share so you guys can see how fun our life can be sometimes, is on the way home from my daughter's extreme therapy session she found a small tiny worm in her crotch. She freaked out and said that the pinching from the worm's bites reminded her of bad things that happened to her crotch. After inspecting the tiny creature, I realized she had pinworms so right now our family is segregated from life and on the medication to attempt to rid ourselves of this parasite. Luckily the only person that has presented with symptoms was her and of course not allowing the boys to go somewhere like they want to when they don't have symptoms is very hard for them and causes them a lot of anxiety but they're starting to understand slowly but surely. Sadly my oldest son is having a lot of anxiety lately as he processes through the fact that this family that he thought he knew was such horrible people...worms just made it worse. We are going to share how bad his "best friend" was with his therapist at his next appt. We're not looking forward to that!
I'm not in the best place emotionally lately but I'm taking it in stride knowing that this is part of the process of grieving and dealing with all the new stuff that's coming out along with normal life. I'm very tired. And honestly I just need to tell somebody the reality of what I'm dealing with because most people can't even believe it's true but you guys know how this all happens. Thanks for listening.
Getting to my point: the boy who attacked my daughter is not much older than MonsterBoy. He also began his attack by being violent in a non-sexual way. In this case it was luckily pretty innocuous -- he was shooting my daughter in the face with a Nerf gun or something similar. It seems so incongruous with what followed that it's almost laughable and it almost renders the story unbelievable. Over the past year, I've been trying to settle in my own mind what motivated this kid and determine whether he has some dangerous psychological condition. I have never succeeded in getting very far with my research, but I wonder whether this juvenile manifestation of sadism fits some sort of psychological profile that could be cited as evidence. I wonder if such a profile would be useful for you to point to along with the evidence that you've been sharing with authorities? Or, maybe that's something that you've already done? I just mention it because it just now dawned on me that this is a pattern of behavior.
I completely understand how mail goes astray in the middle of chaos. I'm so sorry the piece you were missing was so vital to your family's financial well-being.
FakeFruit, there definitely seems to be a linkage of sadism and sexual abuse. What is rape, really, but a fundamental overpowering of another human, with added "benefit" to the rapist of sexual gratification? The two become synonymous in the perpetrator's brain -- can't have one without the other. Research abounds, and it's clearly worth documenting any signs you've seen that the neighbor boy derives pleasure from hurting others. Here are some cases that have made the news:
https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/sadistic-personality-disorder-the-cleveland-tragedy/
https://prezi.com/mzpaaw70q2hi/copy-of-sexual-sadism-how-child-abuse-creates-a-serial-killer/
http://epublications.regis.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1240&context=theses
Shooting someone in the back or front torso with a toy, while not a healthy source of pleasure, seems "normal" by comparison with shooting her directly in the face. Talk about deliberate depersonalization! Your neighbor may not grow up to be a more serious criminal, but I'd take seriously the escalation from this boy's "play" humiliation to sexual abuse of your daughter.
I'm sure there's a pathology in regards to monster boy's violent tendencies. Honestly, now that it has come out that monsteR, his older brother, was involved, it makes a bit more sense because THAT boy had lots of knives and a very outwardly violent tendency. That is why I started pulling my oldest away from him! The only reason I let them continue to be "best friends" was because most of the other friends had abandoned him when he got cancer but not this young man. I wouldn't be shocked if monster boy was simply repeating what his big brother did to him with knives. BUT, we'll never know until this is taken seriously!
I just read my little guy's medical report and the CPS worker that it was shared with said there was no need to open a new case in regards to just the physical scars/alleged abuse. She did however notate that he used the word "crunch" to describe the upper back infliction of pain.
Haven't heard back yet in regards to my daughter's disclosures. I just sent a follow up email to "our" detective including the medical report and some pictures of the physical evidence still at the church that proves my daughter's stories, even though not specifically sexual in nature.
Thanks for giving me a new idea in how to present our case! So, would I simply share my idea of his psychological issues with our detective? Remember, we'd already discussed that if he were to believe us that he'd have to believe this kid was worse than Jeffry Dahmer, and he's kind of dismissed this thought process. Any advice on how to present this to him so he'll listen?