Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
I'm requesting prayers, help & insight for both my family & my cousins.
My cousins disabled son passed away unexpectedly. That in itself is horrific and I ask first and foremost for prayers for her, her husband, other children & all their extended family.
Secondly, prayers for my boys... My boys were very close to him & my youngest (abused by his uncle) asked if his aunt & uncle would be at the funeral. I told him I'm sure they would be, but it was completely up to him on whether he would go to the funeral or not. I have talked to our therapist, while he says he normally recommends absolutely no exposure with victim & abuser when it comes to funerals he says it's an exception. He says my son needs his chance to properly say goodbye.
I've told my son he doesn't need to make up his mind right now & he can change his mind right up until the moment. If he wants to talk about it before making a decision that's fine... He DOESNT want to talk about it. I can see the struggle in his eyes & I hurt for him.
Please if anyone has any experience similar to this or has recommendations please share. We have not had any contact with the abuser since disclosure nearly 7 yrs ago. While the abuse seems like a lifetime ago it also feels like it just happened yesterday.
My cousins disabled son passed away unexpectedly. That in itself is horrific and I ask first and foremost for prayers for her, her husband, other children & all their extended family.
Secondly, prayers for my boys... My boys were very close to him & my youngest (abused by his uncle) asked if his aunt & uncle would be at the funeral. I told him I'm sure they would be, but it was completely up to him on whether he would go to the funeral or not. I have talked to our therapist, while he says he normally recommends absolutely no exposure with victim & abuser when it comes to funerals he says it's an exception. He says my son needs his chance to properly say goodbye.
I've told my son he doesn't need to make up his mind right now & he can change his mind right up until the moment. If he wants to talk about it before making a decision that's fine... He DOESNT want to talk about it. I can see the struggle in his eyes & I hurt for him.
Please if anyone has any experience similar to this or has recommendations please share. We have not had any contact with the abuser since disclosure nearly 7 yrs ago. While the abuse seems like a lifetime ago it also feels like it just happened yesterday.
All I can offer to say is that always, things have their way of working out.
There are those of us who still have daily exposure to our perps - kids too - because were not believed - and Altho horrific at times, we don't let him rob us of a good time together when the kids are home w me.
You're safe now and your knowledge of who he is is actually what gives you the power - since when you didn't know who he was was when everyone was in real danger.
Best wishes for the best outcome in this awful time.
My son did say unequivocally that he was going, and he would not let this one person hold him back.
Prayers
I am so sorry for your loss! Blessings to your family at this difficult time.
Laura
Heartsadx3, thank you so much for the power of prayer! It brought tears to my eyes, but in an Empowering way. I can't thank you enough. We are believers, but prayers for us from others are truly uplifting, again Thank You!
My oldest son (with that look in his eye) noticed him right away & said HE's here. My boys as they've gotten older & testosterone has kicked in they all seem to want a piece of him. I gently reminded them we are here to pay our respects, & support what family we have left. This is about our cousin, nothing more, nothing less. The boys all agreed held the heads high and continued with there stories of their dear cousin. Low & behold the perp walks in with his shoulders slumped & looked at his feet as he walked by us. The entire short time he was there he looked down or at a wall looking extremely uncomfortable.
If tomorrow's services can go as smoothly and we can spend some serious time afterwards reminiscing with some family and talking about the fun times cut too short with a special young person I will consider this a huge step.
Laura