Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
On Friday we moved our 20yodd into an apartment, the first stable place to live in 20 months. Through a chain of people we found out that last night she attempted her life. Police were called to open the apartment. She is in icu but is expected to be fine. Apparently she was assaulted a week ago and she sees herself as bad and worse and therefore the world is better off without her.
Her flatmate arrives from interstate today and does not know of her mental battles.
Please pray for this whole mess. I am scared, exhausted and beyond answers right now.
This is a tricky situation. You want the roommate situation to go well from the start. Has your daughter indicated that she is willing to share her struggles with the roommate? It might be a good idea to do so,. Surely the roommate has faced challenges of her own (insecurity, PMS, etc.), and she has certainly known and cared about people who have struggled with mental health issues. Here is a discussion about possible ways to start that conversation -- perhaps not right away, but soon. You could send it to your daughter's counselor for her opinion as well.
https://www.nami.org/find-support/living-with-a-mental-health-condition/disclosing-to-others
Your daughter would not need to reveal more than that she is working hard to heal from a tragedy, and is receiving professional support. She could say that she sometimes doesn't realize when her emotional state is building (what are some clues the roommate should look for?), and that she would welcome a nudge from the roommate to help her remember to practice her coping strategies. Something like that. It just might smooth the way for a roommate who may otherwise be worried or annoyed by your daughter's behaviors.
Prayers -- done!
Only just holding it together myself.
Are you sure that the adult facility would make matters worse? I'm not suggesting it's the answer, because I have no idea about the facility. I just wonder if her therapist and MD know enough about it to warn you away.
There is nothing more stressful than having in one's home a loved one who is actively self-harming. What a helpless, frightening feeling to know that it's ultimately not within your control, but you feel responsible for controlling it anyway because she is your child, And what an infuriating imposition of evil onto your dream of what "home with children" should mean. My heart is with you.