Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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helpme2017 04/17/2018

This last month has been very busy and I have not been on here. Overall we had a good month, I would say. My son and I took a vacation for spring break. My son started therapy a few days after he disclosed the abuse to me which was in July. He is only 3 and has been doing very well for the most. In December his therapist and I decided he could take a break as he was doing well. In January I started seeing a therapist of my own, and things have been getting better. I had been having trouble sleeping ever since my son disclosed, my cousin abused him. I am sleeping much better, but every night after I put my son to bed my brain goes on a rampage about what happen to my son. I am happy with my therapist and glad I finally got the time to see a theripst. However now, I feel like I need to take my son back to therapy. My son loves his therapist and she is great, however I have been trying for the last month to schedule time with her. I did cancel the first appt as I ended up having to go out of town for work. However since then she has not return my calls to reschedule. I called the secretary in her office prior to our vacation and she couldnt book anything at that time because his therapist was also out on vacation for a week, ( understandable since it was spring break time and I know she is a single mom as well). I dont know if I should keep trying to work something out or just switch all together. Also it was not easy for me to find a therapist for him since he is only 3. He will be 4 in the summer, and I found a few places that will work with that age but for someone reason it been harder to find someone to work with a 3 year old.

heartsadx3 04/22/2018

I had a difficult time as well with the age mine was also at three. The first therapist sadly did not work out. And I really stressed about finding someone different and the process but I did and it was much much better.

But the therapy was not as long as I would have liked but all they would do. I understood that at some point I have to return to normal life and move past this. It was a very hard decision but I just had to base it on how she was doing. If I noticed she was not well then I'd do something else but it's been four years and thankfully she is thriving.

Naive1.2 04/22/2018

What does your therapist say about your recent desire to seek more help for your son? It sounds like that's a discussion very much worth having. You might consider whether you're sensing underlying signals that your son needs help. You might also be feeling that it's wrong for you to get professional help while your son does not, since he is the survivor? Lots of conflicting emotions are possible.

helpme2017 04/25/2018

Heartsadx3 glad to hear she is doing well. My son actually was able to see his therapist yesterday. We are going to do check point every few weeks. For the most part he is doing well. I actually meet with my therapist today and I think for me is I don’t want my son to be hurting/in pain and I not know to be able to get him help. I guess my concern is that he might be appearing happy and well but in the inside he is hurting.

heartsadx3 04/26/2018

I worried about that also and I often check in with my daughter and make sure she knows I'm here if she wants to talk. Sometimes I ask questions like if she has any worries or trouble sleeping, has anyone hurt her at school etc. So checking in is a good way but then also I'm very aware of what her behaviors were and I keep an eye on any behaviors now of course she could be hiding it all from me.

I try to semi regularly talk about body safety, good touch and bad touch. Also I monitor her interactions with peers and try to do what I can to make sure she is always in safe situations to best of my ability.

Nothing is full proof I know full well but I those are some things I do to do what I can.

helpme2017 04/27/2018

Thanks, heartsad3! I do read books and talk about body safety and boundaries. You’re right we just have to keep watching behaviors and make sure they know they can talk to us. My son is 3 now so he tells me everything and asks about everything. I pray it stays like that. Right now I am just trying to focus on the now.

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