Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hello friends.
I am at a point where I don't know what to do.
As a reminder, my 3 children were sexually abused by my husbands father. He is in prison.
My 14 year old daughter is finally accepting the help she needs and is processing things. She has also been put on prozac which seems to be helping.
She confided in me this past week that her ex boyfriend, whom she "dated" for 8 months, physically hurt her several times while they were together. She said on a couple of occasions he squeezed her hand until it was painful because she was holding hands with her friends. On another occasion he picked her up and threw her.
I have a feeling she is keeping more in and not telling me so I aksed her if there is more and if her hurt her sexually. She said no. I told her that if she isn't being honest becasue she is scared she is welcome to come to me at anytime to share anything else.
She wrote a diolog for her acting group about an abusive grandfather and the inicdent that happened with him and about an abusive boyfriend that choked her. I am certian it is autobiografiic.
I sent a text to this boy's mother and told her that I was worrited about him and explained what I was told. At the time I didn't know about the choking.
My daughter sees this boy at school every day and he is not acting like his mther has said anything to him. We both agree that if she had, he would be angry with my daughter and avoid her at all costs. He isn't. He s carrying on as normal.
I am sick inside. I know my daughter is safe. I want this boy to know that I now what he did and that it is not ok. I told his mother that I would not reach out directy to him. She is a sweet lady and I didn't want her to worry. Why do I care?! He hurt my daughter! Numorous times.
I feel stuck. I want to do something but don't know what. We can't press charges becasue she did not tell me when the incidents happened. There were never any marks. And she flat out told me she does not want to get the cops involved. I would never dream of hurting another human. Ok, I have dremed of that. But it isn't in me to hurt someone. And it's illigal.
I can't sleep thinking about the hell my girl has been through.
Thank you for sharing with me. I hate the world we live in at times. Now is one of those times.
I also might share discreetly with any other young ladies who seem atracted to him...i.e. "be careful and remember your are precious and shouldn't be treated otherwise!" That way she did not slander but simply warned them.
And definitely sit her down and applaud her for choosing to protect herself BUT talk about why (or have her therapist) she tolerated it happening more than once. Go back over body safety but most importantly self worth. Have her journal or draw out her feelings on the matter.
<3
Please call http://www.thehotline.org/ and ask what steps you should take to protect your daughter from this boy. He may be very possessive and cause problems for her if she starts seeing someone else.
My daughter also dated abusive young men. I didn't know that until after she disclosed her childhood sexual abuse. I assume I don't know the half of it, at least.
Here's a hug: ((( )))
We meet with the school vice principal today since some of these things happened at school.
Thank you everyone for your support.