Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
My granddaughter was sexually abused by the neighbor boy, it started when she was 3 and he was 13. The abuse continued for a year before it was discovered. We are on the year mark now and her parents are not moving forward in any way. I am so confused, the have become reclusive and neglectful of all 4 of their children. I am the enemy in this situation, I think because I called them out about neglecting their children and also tried to tell them when the warning signs were happening. The two families were very close and they have struggled with losing the friendships and the guilt of not knowing what was happening. I just don't know what to do to help them move forward, has anyone else had these feeling of giving up and how did you get past it?
Naive1
Well, for one thing, it would help if you apologized for calling the parents of your grandchildren neglectful. Perhaps they have been, in other ways, but this crime is the fault -- solely -- of the perpetrator. None of the parents I have met on this board knew what was happening to their children. Most of us were extremely involved in our children's daily care. You might also show support by offering to pay for some of the therapy I hope this family is seeking. Recovery is a lifelong process for parents as well as their abused children. Your son/daughter/in-law are in pain!! Please have a look at www.mosac.net for a better sense of the emotional toll this takes on parents.
worried-mom
You misunderstood what I meant, I didn't mean they were neglectful before it happened, I meant since it has happened. I am the one taking my granddaughter to counseling to help, at this point no one else in the family is in counseling which is also a concern of mine. I also go to all the court dates because the parents haven't been able to do that. That was my question, is it normal to pay less attention to your children? I thought maybe as a parent you would be overly protective.
Naive1
I'm sorry for misunderstanding. You are really stepping up. I can't imagine what's going on at the parents' house, but it does sound as if counseling would be a minimal first step to pulling life back together there. It sounds as if they may be suffering from deep depression. Whatever guilt they feel for missing the signs you saw must be overwhelming. Retrospect is not our friend in this situation, because there's nothing to be done now. Except to heal, and it sounds as if they are stuck. It may be time to mention what you're seeing to the legal people you've been in contact at court what steps might be needed to protect the children. It must be agony to have good reason to worry about the well-being of your grandchildren.
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