Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Had a sex talk with my 9yo daughter. We talked about how sex can be good but it also can be bad. She told me she wanted to tell me something, She told me that Her step brother sexually assaulted her multiple times.
My heart shattered in and instant. My step son is 5 years older than her. I was so distraught and upset. Told my husband (stepsons father). He asked ss about it. He denyed it. But went to his mom's for the night.
Next day I called CPS. I have never felt like this before. This was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. The amount of mom guilt I had was over bearing. My husband left for a few days. During all of this to stay with family.
Fast forward to today. Both kids have been interviewed. Ss is saying this happened 4-5 years ago 2-3 times. Making him 12-11. Who knew a child's actions could be SO hurtful. I have an opportunity to ask for mandatory counseling for my SS, which I plan to. He hasn't been back to the house since. I can't even look at pictures of him. I'm so hurt.
Husband agreed to give me time. But he wants ss home. He says he's giving me time, yet will have an outburst saying I don't have forgiveness for an 11 year old. Yes this happened years ago but to me this was a month ago. How can I allow my daughters abuser back into our home? Yes he was a child. But his actions were horrible. All of us are in therapy.
Husband and I are seeing a marriage counseler together had a great first session but then we have a blow out and it seems like the end of the world again. I don't want to see my husbands family as I feel like they are just wanting me to snap my fingers, forgive and move on. I don't think they understand how hurt I am, how Im in constant physical and mental pain. I am trying my best to hold it together for my children.
My daughter is so resilient and is a strong amazing girl.
I don't expect reads or replies. As much as I have confided in my therapist, family and friends..... It felt good to type this out... Especially to a platform that knows how I feel and has been through this before. I wish nothing but peace for all your parents out there ♥️ I'm still finding mine.
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My 5 year old came forward on March 5th That another child in his class was reaching into his pants under his underwear and touching his penis each time he was in this class. The offending child and him sat alone at the table, clearly out of sight. He was trapped because he was afraid of disrupting class and afraid of the other kids, laughing if they knew what happened. The disturbed child...
I'm so glad you're all in therapy, but in this situation your daughter also needs a
"security detail" at home, and you can't provide that on your own when ss is there. It's good that he has confessed to the abuse, because he has some recognizance that it was the wrong thing to do, but his needs are not equal to your daughter's.
As for husband's family, their expressed desire for reconciliation doesn't even make the list of legitimate concern. Please see:
https://www.mosac.net/ResponseOfFriendsAndFamily.aspx
Also, please check out https://www.siblingsexualtrauma.com/, a site started by a mom who used to post here regularly.
Also, I was married into this family for over 25 years and never knew that most of them had been molested by other family members but no one ever reported it. He also has a restraining order against him and will not be able to contact either her or me for the rest of his life. He will be on the registered sex offenders list for the rest of his life. So, your husband needs to get a clue. I understand he loves his son, but he needs to accept he has a serious problem NO MATTER HOW YOUNG and the kids can not be together. Go to bat for your daughter. She needs you.