Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
We are about 6 weeks away from the first anniversary of the disclosure of abuse of our daughter. The last several months have been awful with extreme ups and downs. We went through the court process, went through counseling, sold a house, bought a house, moved schools, and are now going back to court for child custody and support issues regarding my step-son who is the perp. I am just tired. I want all the court stuff to be done. As soon as the abuse case was settled, his mother slaps us with custody modification and a request of an increase in child support. I just can't understand how this woman won't let us just grieve and breathe for a bit before going right back to court. It disgusts me. Obviously the custody has to change because he isn't allowed around my children anymore but my husband still sees his son and takes him to all of his therapy apts.
My daughter seems to be in a good place though. My husband's family is still very active (actually more active than ever) in perp's life. I think that has been hard for my daughter because she is seeing them much less than she used to because they believe that this isn't that big of a deal and that siblings just do these types of things sometimes. So, this has been the hardest part because how do you explain to a 6 year old these types of family issues?
I'm glad to be able to have this place to come to vent, to read other people's stories and get advice and support.
My daughter seems to be in a good place though. My husband's family is still very active (actually more active than ever) in perp's life. I think that has been hard for my daughter because she is seeing them much less than she used to because they believe that this isn't that big of a deal and that siblings just do these types of things sometimes. So, this has been the hardest part because how do you explain to a 6 year old these types of family issues?
I'm glad to be able to have this place to come to vent, to read other people's stories and get advice and support.
My daughter was 5 when the abuse happened and she is now 9, I recently had the opportunity to explain to her some of the family dynamics such as why she doesn't see her grandmother anymore and why i do not like my mother anymore and she totally got it and was not at all hurt by my explaining things to her... In fact she seemed quite content with my choices to protect her and to choose her over my own mother. She is doing so well now in her life, and at times it is hard to believe we ever went through all of this stuff... Although I will never forget and neither will she, we have over come so much and it has made both of us stronger!!! My little girl amazes me every day...!!! There is hope for healing and peace... It took 2.5 years before it was all over and done with the drama... But now we just have to focus on healing and thriving and all the shit we went through to get here was so worth it...!!!
Big hugs to you... And again I'm so sorry you have so much stress right now...!!! You are in my thoughts and have my full support
On the other hand, there's that sentence: "My daughter seems to be in a good place though." Despite the continuation of your legal saga, I think your daughter's wellbeing was what you were really after in the first place. I'm sorry it has come with so many costs, but imagine if you hadn't gone through with this. Would you ever be sure you could say, "My daughter seems to be in a good place"? Maybe, over time. But never without that caveat "....although we wish we had taken the perpetrator to court." As hard as this is now, you will never regret doing every earthly thing you could on behalf of your daughter's wellbeing.
And by the way, the first year of this sucks with all its might, so I am ready to celebrate with you that you are about to reach the one-year "survival" mark. You have been a fighter and a winner, and I wish I could give you a hug!