Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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crybaby 02/24/2017

My daughter seemed to be ok for the time leading up to the court case....it has been since it was all dragged up that she has got progressively worse.....the case put us both through hell and we didn't even get a conviction....did I do the wrong thing to pursue this through the courts? Did I put her through unnecessary suffering? Should I have let it go and just kept him away from her....was it my need for revenge that drove me? I am so scared I have made things worse. When, a year ago, I told my dad about the impending court case, he made one comment, "no good will come of this". Every-one else said I was doing the right thing, but let's face it, most people who have not experienced this don't know what they are talking about. Help guys....what do think?

lusks1 02/24/2017

NO!

You did what you felt needed to be done.

There are going to many times in your life, and in your daughter's life, that stir up emotions and make you raw.

You will be stronger because of this. As will your precious angel. She is learning that she has a voice. She is learning that someone did something very wrong and they are being held accountable. It sickens me that he was not prosecuted BUT now people know. The seed has been planted.

There will always be people on his side. But now the truth has been told. He is now seen differently in the eyes of many other people.

And your daughter knows that mommy has her back. Mommy loves her and supports her and will do anything in her power to ensure her safety.

You are both survivors and warriors who will continue to fight this savage war. The very worst kind of war.

Lots of hugs, love, and support form me to you and your baby.

crybaby 02/24/2017

your reassurances are so comforting to me......the thing always clung onto was that in the future I can always tell her I did every-thing I could, but I am still scared....much less scared now I have found all you guys in this community xxxxx

hopefulmama 02/24/2017

I think your daughters is too young to realize you did the right thing,we must teach our children to do the right thing even though the outcome is not what we wanted.tell your daughter how proud you are that she was able to do the right thing.It's unfortunate this has to be a life lesson.i think there will be many things in the future that will trigger her,with a good therapist she will work through it.Of course you want revenge!You did not fail your daughter,the system did.She will get through this.Are you both in therapy?

ashley73 02/24/2017

Please don't beat yourself up and try very hard not to second guess yourself because you DID do the right thing by your daughter! You did the brave and noble thing. You rock!! It is the system that failed. I'm so sorry that the outcome wasn't fair or just. I admire you greatly for your courage. :-)

Naive1.2 02/24/2017

Can you really imagine NOT having tried? The courts and police still understand this crime so poorly that it's really a crapshoot, whether things will go as they should. But let's say you had a 50/50 chance to win a million pounds. You would take that chance! I'm certain that justice means more to you than money...so you did the right thing. As others have said, as your daughter grows, she will appreciate that you tried to find justice for her.

crybaby 02/24/2017

I draw strength from you....I will fight for my daughter and our relationship until I have no energy left. xxxxxxx

HelpHealMom 02/24/2017

Honey, you did what you felt was right for your child. I never had that choice. My daughter was abused by my brother when she was 4 and she did not disclose until she was 43. He passed away before she disclosed. Oh how I wish I had known back then, even tho I loved my brother dearly, I too think I would have done what you did. In doing so maybe my daughter would not have suffered silently and alone for all those years. You did the right thing and as some on here said, your daughter will grow up knowing that her Mom did what was best for her with much love and support. I am just so very sorry that justice did not come for either of you. She will get thru this because she has a momma who loves her and will fight for her. Big hugs to you.

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