I'm not sure what to make of this. Do you think he was writing about The Child? Do you think he sensed that The Child had issues that he wasn't sure how to deal with? Or is he writing about two parts of himself -- a good guy and a bad guy? Do you think he molested The Child?

Unfortunately, being able to see the truth clearly in one situation doesn't negate denial in another.

I just want to offer some advice that took me awhile to heed, but made my life so much better since I have. By browsing - I assume you mean you were looking for information from this family/person - give yourself peace and stop torturing yourself. Remove yourself from their lives, remove your link to them in any form of social media, stop looking for information on them and focus on you and move on with all of the positive going on in your life. When you find things like this it does nothing but get you upset, and I understand, I have been there and done that - but now that I have removed myself completely (blocked on everywhere possible and unfriended any mutual friends) I have so much more peace. I think about it everyday, and hope that one day this will not be the case - it was family that I lost - my sister (and my husband's uncle who was her husband), and several nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews, and it stinks, but I do no regret and I am done trying to find out any information on their lives. I am moving forward with the positive and leaving behind the negative. Just this week her husband came up on my facebook as a person you might know (I suspect she may have activated his account to spy) and I promptly blocked him and also blocked another mutual friend I know that she has discussed the situation with. That way they cannot "spy" on me, and I can't "spy" on them either. For me it was the best decision ever.

I agree with Mobley,I did the same. Spoke to my sister in law to keep on top of what was going on, spoke to my mother in law to see if the stories matched.It was exhausting and very frustrating. It is hard to be in the dark, and I did not think I could do it,I mean how would I know when they were up here to visit,what they were doing and on and on.It was never enough.I am so much more at peace since I cut ties.Do yourself a favor and let it go.

Agreed with mobley and bonnie too. I think most if not all of us are guilty of trying to get info and see what is going on with perp. I understand it completely, just doing it to see if they are doing anything to help the child or whatever. Family members would come to me and gossip about what was being done and said. It got to a point that I realized it truly was only hurting me. No one who supported perp cared what was going on with my family, they weren't worried about us and I doubt they sat around thinking about what we were going through. I realized that I truly was letting other people get me all worked up and then I would just spin out on it for hours and let it ruin my day. Once I realized the negative affect it was having on me in an already negative time in my life, I told those people who wanted to gossip that I didn't want to hear it anymore. I had to let it go and accept that I could only control me. I think when it is someone we thought we had a very close relationship with, we have a hard time letting go and accepting that things have changed. I hope you can find peace for yourself and just accept that these people aren't who you believed they were. Your family is making such huge strides, don't let these people hold you back.

I shared in my small group about letting go of resentments and the people who take up free rent in my head. It use to be not an hour would go by before I was thinking about "them" in one regard or another....they truly took up space and over time huge huge resentments were built. It took cutting off all connection and a lot of work and healing to finally evict them all out of my space and I never want to be like that again. It was hell. I have let go of my resentment because it doesn't work... It only hurts me. I have peace with how things are but if they were
in my life I would not have peace plain and simple. I thought they would destroy me that I wouldn't really recover from the betrayal and hurt... But praise God I did. I have been blessed in many ways and enjoy so much... life is precious. You got this ...

I agree with all above, but I certainly understand the obsession. It may not be healthy, but every so often -- maybe once every 6-8 months, I do check the monster's Facebook page, to see if he's still breathing. It gives me hope that he may yet be punished on earth. It makes me hopeful that his children have no relationship with him. It makes me hope that he's miserable. I hope the stories of Dennis Hastert and Jerry Sandusky make him quake with fear of yet being caught......

Naive1,were you not able to press charges?

No. My daughter reported him last year, 18 years after she was raped, and police were unable to find a reason to issue a warrant, although apparently they did tail him for a few weeks. He's free as a bird, still lives in the same house where he raped my daughter and his own children, and he works as an esteemed researcher at a world-renowned institution. With his benighted wife.

A few months ago, a law was passed that we thought might make it necessary for him to pass a criminal background check in order to remain employed, but it turns out it didn't apply to people at his level, and the fact that my daughter had reported him wouldn't amount to anything, because there was no arrest made. So....we will never see any justice or acknowledgement of any kind that he is a felon. It all requires a level of acceptance I have yet to reach.

Naive1,

I think that is where I'm struggling. What my 3 kids went through was horrific years of abuse and for the law to just discount it because the perp was a kid &/or they think my oldest throws too much "reasonable doubt" into the situation is irritating at best! I can not accept that this is it...us living with life-long scars of physical/emotional/mental abuse while they go to Disneyland and all their fun groups. Us trying to create new groups of friends around health conditions (including ones that were as a result of the abuse) and trying to verify their family will not be around. The mom still has 2 of my books...I'm going to ask my pastor to please get them for me since my husband wants to maintain the no contact thing. I just keep hoping to see at least a shred of repentance on all their parts since each of them knew things they never told me over the 9 years of friendship.

They actually had the audacity to tell the kid's group we left that the reason we did was so THEY could atttend...not because they wouldn't leave! A leader ended up telling my mom because they go to church together and now my mom knows the family that we were in a police investigation with. (My mom wasn't supposed to know that detail at all.) I'm starting to realize that they have no gag or respect for our privacy so that sooner or later too much will be shared and people we didn't want to know anything will know. This is SO hard...