Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
OK so some of you have read my other post and know about my boy and the 10 year old neighbour. We have called child services and been told its normal.. They would not start a file.
Today we went to the DR office not know what else to do. Once agin we go told this was normal. That boys in the age range of 8-11 do this kind of thing all the time and its normal. That once they get caught they stop. That they do target younger kids because they are willing.. So what this is normal for my child to have an older boy lick or suck his dick? Am I the only one thinking this is wrong? That it is not normal for this to happen to my boy?
Has anyone else ever heard of this? What should I do now? No one is willing to help us. My boy seems fine. But what about the long run. Am I over reacting? should I be just letting this go?
Today we went to the DR office not know what else to do. Once agin we go told this was normal. That boys in the age range of 8-11 do this kind of thing all the time and its normal. That once they get caught they stop. That they do target younger kids because they are willing.. So what this is normal for my child to have an older boy lick or suck his dick? Am I the only one thinking this is wrong? That it is not normal for this to happen to my boy?
Has anyone else ever heard of this? What should I do now? No one is willing to help us. My boy seems fine. But what about the long run. Am I over reacting? should I be just letting this go?
Sadly, too many public officials also abuse children sexually. As a society, we continue to be shocked by this discovery, over and over, but I am now suspicious of everyone who seeks positions of authority, esp. authority over children. Please take this into consideration as you encounter people in positions of authority who would claim that this is "normal." It was "normal" for Jerry Sandusky to shower with young boys -- according to Sandusky -- but the thought of doing so would never have occurred to any of the other coaches at his college. The adults who claim that this boy's interest in sexual activity is "normal" may be justifying their own predatory actions.
I also object to the assertion that children who engage in sexually aggressive ways are likely to stop "once they get caught." My guess would be that it's actually more common for those who are caught early on -- and then given no (or only light) punishment/consequences -- are very likely to strike again, only with increased stealth.
I think it is normal to a point, but would pursue continuing to communicate with the other parents so that they are able to properly guide their child to what is right or wrong to prevent this from happening in the future. If no one is willing to provide any assistance I would take this opportunity to educate yourself, and educate your neighbors so you can take steps to prevent this from here on out. You have clearly caught this very early, before it progressed any more - and the bottom line that I have learned from our experience is that older children should never be left alone with younger children - even if it is "normal" behavior, it should not happen. At this time, I continue to talk weekly with both of my children (5 & 12) about inappropriate touch with anyone, and my daughter will not be allowed to play alone with any kids because of what she has been exposed to. I think we need to remember that 10 is still young - and correction now with continued monitoring would likely stop this situation. I would hope that my son never did this, but he did have sleepovers with other boys when he was younger, when I didn't know better. There is a lot of information that a lot of experimentation in kids is normal. The grey area here is the age difference - most of the literature I have read is that anything over 4 years should NOT be considered normal. I would see if I could find a therapist who specializes in sexual behavior in children to consult. The sad fact is that pediatricians are not nearly as educated on this topic (as much of our population) as they should be. If you are not happy with your care, get another opinion. Maybe do some more research to support your thoughts on it to present to the neighbors and therapist or pediatrician.
Here is a link to a great fact sheet on what is and isn't normal behavior - and it does say that touching others i normal for a 8-11 year old (the age difference here is the grey area to be explored). It still needs to be addressed and both boys need to continually educated about respecting other peoples bodies.
http://tncac.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/3-Child-Sexual-Behavior.pdf
http://tncac.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/3-Child-Sexual-Behavior.pdf
Daughter amount other things... And he threatened her to not tell
Me about it... I took my daughter to the ER for a forensic exam and reported it to the police... We then took her to a child advocacy center for a forensic interview... At which point they determined we had enough to take him to court... After two years we we won our court case because my brother took the plea but during that whole process my brother was taken to a sexual deviancy "expert" who claimed that my brothers behavior was "normal" hormonal changes... Soooo sad... That our society could even place the word normal On someone who sexually abuses a younger child...!!! I asked my husband... So if this is normal for teenage boys... Did you ever rape 5 year old girls when you where 13... I'm sure you can imagine the horror of disgust on my husbands face as he said nooo way... I did not do that nor did any of my friends... We never would have thought of it... So there you go... I'd like to believe my husband is normal... And even though Children who sexually abuse other children is very common, it is in no way normal...!!!
I would take your problem to the police...!!! And look for a child advocacy center in your area...!!!
Also... I'm soooo sorry your going through this...!!! I know how awful it is
I had to deal with all kinds of stuff with police and detective that went against what I knew or felt to be true. The police told me I had to let my daughter be around my step dad while they were doing the investigation and that I would be in trouble if my step dad found out he was being investigated. I knew in my heart that my daughter should not see again that it would only add trauma to her. They were looking out for their interest but I had to look out for my daughters. At the end if the day you have to be happy with your choices not thiers.