This is all new to me as a parent, and am trying to take the right steps in healing for my daughter and my husband and I.
Long story short, my husband and I were letting my 12/13 year old nephew stay with us for a few days as a favor to my sister. My sister and I are best friends and this nephew and I have been fairly close. He has two small brothers 3 and 5 and has always been good with kids, or so I thought.
My 4 year old daughter just disclosed to me that he touched her inappropriately, giving great detail. She also told me he told her not to tell anyone because it was naughty. That night it happened, while I was out for dinner with friends, she was acting very emotional my husband told me the next day.
I feel like I handled the situation well by not showing her much emotion except reiterating that what he did was not okay, explained that no one should ever her touch her there, that she did nothing wrong, and thanked her for telling me. She didn't seem distraught about it while telling me. However I am so at a loss, and going through the obvious stages of grief.
What makes me so angry is that my nephew is saying he didn't touch her there and if he did, it was an accident. He said they were playing tickle monster. I don't believe him for a second but I feel like if he would just admit it, that I'd be able to cope better. I'm so angry, hurt, and most of all just worried how this is going to effect her.
My sister said she's getting him into counseling and asked me to write up everything my daughter told me so she can provide it to the counselor.
I guess where I'm struggling is whether or not to report it. And whether or not to have my daughter see someone to talk about it. I don't want to pretend like it didn't happen but I also don't want to make my daughter re-hash everything and keep bringing it up. She hasn't talked about it since she first told me, and we've just been trying to be as supportive as possible telling her how much we love her and that she can always tell us anything, no matter what. I know when she gets a little older we'll have to tell her what happened.
Any advice? If you report sexual abuse, does a 4 year old have to be interviewed? I don't plan on taking him to court, so I'm unsure if reporting it is necessary. And the fact that he's denying it as well.
Sorry this got long, but I appreciate any advice or personal experience!
This was published 2015 but I just found it online. It is a guide with training info for advocates who serve families after a child reports a sexual assault or abuse. It gets a gold star for including information on supporting parents of sibling sexual abuse (starting on p. 46). There is a ton of info there I wish I had known sooner, and that I wish the people working with us had known...
I'm pretty sure my son's half sister (3.5) is being abused by the same boy (my son's stepbrother, her half-brother) who abused him (and at least 4 others, according to my son's caseworker). The boy still lives with my son's father, and therefore her; he was never prosecuted because of his age. (My son does not see the boy. Visitation with his dad takes place at his grandparents' house.)She's...