We're glad to have you. When you feel ready to open up, we'll be here to listen and support you. I'm a survivor myself (22, abused at 10) and my parents did all the wrong things, so I come here to listen and give support.

Thank you wolverine22. I am sorry that you have been a victim of this awful crime. I am grateful for your support.

Welcome, so sorry you have the need for this group, but glad you found us. There are many different stories and folks here, take your time, and come here whenever you need with whatever you need. One site you may want to check out if you haven't found it yet is www.mosac.net ; many here have found it quite educational and supportive. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...

Welcome,it's a lot to deal with yes,but with help and support you and your daughter will find your new normal.Hugs

Gosh, oh, gosh, I'm so sorry. And how awful, and awfully coincidental, that your husband moved you away from your support "team" six months ago, and your daughter says the abuse started six months ago, What a manipulative set-up. I'm so glad you believed your daughter, and hope you and she will soon find yourselves back in the vicinity of loved ones.

Thank you all so much. Your support is very comforting. My husband who I thought was my best friend and I have been married for 18 years. This entire thing has been such a shock. Losing the life and the man I thought of as my true love has torn me apart. Thinking about what he did to our daughter makes me sick and so angry. I am so proud of my sweet girl. It could not have been easy for her. Now her and I are facing a new reality together. I still have to have contact with him even though he is in jail. He was the head of the house and as such was in charge of all finances, passwords, log ins etc. He is cooperating with police and has been working overtime to help get us financially what he can (His pension etc...) I try each and everytime I talk to him not to fall for his manipulations, but it can be so hard to break this old habit. But with the support of my family, friends and now you all, I hope to get help on moving forward with my sweet girl.

Im so sorry that you find yourself here...its a double tragedy when the perpetrator is your husband, as you have to deal with the sudden loss of a partner as well, which on its own is quite daunting. Well done on prosecuting him for the abuse - it couldnt have been easy. I pray that you and your daughter find the strength to walk this difficult path. I find strenght in the fact that we still have our wonderful children, our gifts from God to raise, protect, nurture, love and enjoy. Your daughter sounds amazing, and you should be proud of how you raised her. Lots of hugs to you both

I am right there with you.

Good evening and welcome to the group, I totally understand how your feeling as my husband was also the abuser of my daughter and we have been married 21 years so I know what a shock it is to find out someone you thought you knew isn't who you thought he was.
Here if you need anything xx

Eeyore, I am so sorry that we have this in common. Just last week the Investigator shared with me the details of the abuse as told by my daughter. She may have to testify at his trial and I did not want the courtroom to be the first place I heard all this. The things she told me were so awful and I could not get past one sentence without breaking down and crying. To think the man I loved with all my heart was doing those things to our daughter, who he was supposed to protect seems impossible. And yet here we are! We have a prearranged time he is allowed to call and give me information (passwords etc) and for me to ask him any questions I have. So tonight is the night. Wish me luck and send prayers my way that I am able to look past the manipulation and get the information I need. Thank you all again for your kind words and support. I am sure I will be on here every night for a while looking for help.

I will be thinking of you tonight. Wishing you all the strength and calm you can muster so that you're able to gather all the information you need. If you're calm (even fake calm, as you're likely to be), he can't flip your emotions to make it all about him and how sorry he is and how he never meant for it to happen, etc., etc. Breathe deeply and give him nothing to push back against, because making it seem as if you're overreacting, and maybe even suggesting that your daughter is exaggerating, are the only cards he has left to play.

Thinking of you and hope the call went okay for you. It's so hard to hear those words come out of our babies. I sat with my daughter while she sobbed her heart out and told me some details, that's something I can never get out of my mind forever. I still live with my husband ( well for just over a week I do when I have a flat to move into)
I wish my husband would admit it to me it would help in my healing but that will never happen and I know that.
Stay strong out daughter's need us xx

Our perpetrator was also my husband and father of my children. The abuse is far enough in the past for the statute of limitations to have run out on my older daughter and to almost out for the younger (who told the police she had, "nothing to report.") I've been told he's changed, no one else is in danger, there was never anyone other than our daughters... There have been no legal repercussions and my husband and I are still living in the same house while I sort through "brain files" and process all of this. We are in counseling although I'm not sure where that will take us. I'm not sure a marriage can recover from this kind of thing. I don't hate him, but I am heartbroken and undone.

Momto7

I find it hard to believe there are no other victims.....somewhere in his past as a child perhaps this began. Did he become a pedophile upon having daughters...no. Did he magically become cured ... because his daughters are grown ....no. I'm so sorry for the pain you must be feeling. The confusion. I've been there and I wish someone could have spoken more clearly to me than the counselors. Could have better warned me that he would abuse again and it would be my own daughter. I was your daughter....and now I'm you.