Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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/ Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Support Group

New member. Just found out a week ago

devastatdmamma
devastatdmamma

hi, my 12 year old son was hospitalized in a Psychiatric Hospital for having visions of the devil and auditory hallucinations which led to suicidal ideations. He was discharged with new medications. When he went for his 1st appointment with a therapist, he disclosed that a boy that he considers his best friend kissed him for 2 years when he was in 1st-2nd grade. The other boy was in 3rd-5th grade. In 1st grade, my son was in the acute grieving stages after losing his father by suicide. I am just sickened and devastated by all of this. The boy is the son of my (now former) best friend. My son told me that he was surprised that my friend didn't tell me anything because he said she caught them once. When I called my friend and informed her that CPS would be calling, she stated that she never saw the boys kissing (she may not have realized what she caught them doing). However, she said that she wasn't going to tell her husband.  After CPS called, she sent me a text saying "case closed."  When I asked her if her son admitted to anything other than kissing, she said CPS didn't need to talk to him. She has pretty much swept it under the rug. My poor son has been carrying this with him for 6 years. He has suffered from depression, ADHD and sensory processing disorder. The psychiatrist at the hospital said,he thinks my son suffered from depressive psychosis. I didn't realize that depression in children can cause hallucinations and vivid visions. My son is going through the necessary therapy sessions. He just started. I am wondering for those of you out there, how was your child months after going through therapy?  Did you see a huge difference?  These poor kids have had their childhood stripped from them. 

Momabearx10
Momabearx10
So far yes. Im however fearful of teenage years. But so far mine is somewhat his old self. A good therapist and support is key. Hang in there! Hugs.
hopefulmama
hopefulmama
I am so sorry,sounds like your ex friend is not very supportive,I have an ex friend/ sister in law whose son abused my daughter.You notified COS,did you file a police report? Auditory and visual hallucinations can very much be associated with trauma,my daughter suffers from them,she also has suicidal ideation,depression,BPD.My daughter is 14 and her problems started at age 12,the teenage years are the worst! Hormones ECT.We are now in the thick of it.You said your husband passed by suicide? Did her suffer any mental illness that was diagnosed? It sounds like you are doing all the right things,it's slow going to treat theses illnesses but it will get better.You also need support,are you seeing a therapist?
devastatdmamma
devastatdmamma
Thank you all for your kind words. The therapist filed with CPS. I didn’t file a police report. I just want my son to heal. My ex husband had horrible depression. He didn’t take his medications regularly. He was re-married when he committed suicide. He had lost his job, and the wife was jealous of me because he still loved me. Luckily, we lived in different states.

I do see a therapist, but I wanted to join this group because I wanted some additional support from other parents going through this. Thank you for replying!
lusks1
lusks1
We are 4 years past disclosure.

Your post reminds me of how far we have come.

My oldest daughter still suffers from PTSD and anxiety and depression.

However, she has improved. She used to swear our house was haunted. She would see figures and hear voices. Shadow people would watch her when she was alone.

Its been a long journey. Before disclosure, when she was a little girl, she would cry uncontrollably. We would try to console her but nothing worked. When we asked her what was wrong she would say she didn't know. She would try so hard to stop sobbing but say "I can't stop".

After disclosure she started seeing and hearing things. I was honestly afraid that she was showing signs of schizophrenia. We had gone through several therapists, doctors, and psychiatrists. It turned out that her boyfriend was also physically and emotionally abusing her. Once she told me about that, the voices and shadow people stopped.

I send you love and support. Nothing worse than not being able to help our babies. Please know we are here for you.
hopefulmama
hopefulmama
Please consider reporting g to police,it's a huge step in healing.My daughter was so against reporting and I just wanted to heal and move on,but now she tells me it gave her strength,as hard as it was.And I felt relief that if he did it to someone else there was a record.Its very rare that there is any punishment,we got none but at least my daughter has learned that everyone must be heard.it was so long ago I can't imagine they will do anything but as the detective told me being questioned by the police might be enough to scare the perp and set him straight.Another reason to report is perhaps he was abused,children don't just abuse,they learn it or learn entitlement,in either case you might be saving him.Also,and perhaps the most difficult to hear is there may be more your son isn't telling you.It took my daughter a year or so to tell everything.Children tell a little at a time,my daughter said she forgot alot and remembered little by little.I imagine for a teenage boy it's even harder.I don't know anyone here who wishes they did not report.It also shows you r son that it's not ok to let people get away with things and that you stand beside him 100%.Also there are advocacy agencies that are free of charge that will be right by his side and can guide you.They also have all sorts of resources.
devastatdmamma
devastatdmamma
First of all, thank you all for taking the time to write to me. It really is helping to read what others have gone through and that things will be better. I know we have a long road ahead of us, and the more I thought about my son's event, the more I realize there is probably more than just kissing. I was told by CPS not to push it, and I haven't, and the more I read about how children process, and especially after reading through your comments, I know waiting for my son to tell me more is on his terms. I do realize the boy that is the perp was probably a victim himself, and as much as I want to help him, I don't know if I have the energy at this moment to report it any further than I have. My so called best friend was very quick to text me that the case was "closed" after talking to CPS and that CPS didn't have to talk to her son. My ex best friend has a very controlling husband, and I think she may be in a pretty difficult situation herself. Please keep in mind, that your seed has been planted, and if at a later time, I feel it is right to report it to the police, I will. I actually know a police officer who is in the sexual crimes unit, so I may tap into him. Thanks again for all of your support. I am feeling better because of you all, and I am sure I will continue to need support as I go through this journey with my son, and I am grateful that I found a good place such as this.
hopefulmama
hopefulmama
I'm glad you have an open mind,it's not easy for us to see the newcomers here,first because of the reason and second because we have been there and know the process and what you are going to go through in the months to cone.We don't want to know but we do.But there is healing,it comes slow for most and you must go through hell to get there but it will be there.There seems to be stages,like dealing with grief,which you know all too well.I believe at some point everyone is ready to report,but everyone must make their own decision.Of course it is possible to move on without reporting but it's good you have an open mind.Kids tell a little at a time because they worry about the adults reactionjust let him know you are there and try to not have a reaction if he discloses more,just reassurance and acceptance.I wish you the best!
Bandmom5
Bandmom5
So sorry for all you are going thru, but glad you reached out here for help. Here's a site that was a lifesaver for me, very comprehensive and educational: http://mosac.net/ . Hope it helps. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers...