My head is spinning these last few weeks... I'm new here and don't have many places I can vent about the past and present.

I was married for 13yrs and in the last 6mths of that 13yrs, suspected something was going on between my 12yr old daughter and husband but with no evidence only a vibe my hands were tied. I spoke to her on many occasion to ask if her dad ever made her feel uncomfortable, to which she always replied "no, everything's fine". Then one night she txt me (when I was staying at a friends house) to say "Mum can you come home, I'm scared, dad won't get out of my bed"... that was enough information for me to drive home immediately, tell my husband our marriage was over, I knew everything he'd done to my daughter and leave. (I didn't know everything that happened but didn't want him to know that)

My 12yr old girl refused to tell me any more and when I talked about going to the police she refused saying that she didn't want to see her dad go to jail. I lost many friends and family over that time but spent the next 6yrs building my life up again as a solo parent of 4. 2yrs ago when my daughter was 16 she begged me to see her father again (she'd had no contact with him since we left). At first I refused, then she said if I didn't she would leave and go live with him.

This was incredibly confusing to me ... she refused to tell me anything that had gone on, and now wanted to see her perpetrator again??? Given she was 16 and threatening to live with him, I agreed to allow supervised visits during the daytime. This gradually increased to a year ago where she would stay over night with her brothers there. I didn't think I had any rights back then and regret that now.

I felt my hands were tied... I had no proof, she refused to tell me anything or to report him. I had incredible guilt about them seeing him and this led me to a horrible depression and onto antidepressants.

Then at the age of 18yrs, 2wks ago, something happened that triggered a memory of her father kissing her with his tongue at the age of 9yrs. A penny dropped in her, and she said that is disgusting!! She imagined her brother (now at age 11) being kissed by an adult. I then persuaded her to go to the police with me the next day (even tho I didn't even know what really went on as she would never tell me).

At the police station I found out that this went on for 3yrs from ages 9-12 and that it wasn't a one off but quite a few times. But still didn't know the details, other than there was never penetration.

Then a week later she had a specialised interview (that lasted 6hrs) with the detective involved in her case. We then organised a protection order, through a lawyer, to stop her father contacting her or us.

The lawyer read her police statement (of which I still haven't been able to read) and said "it's pretty horrific" ... so I've come to realise that he groomed her for all those years, and altho he never raped her it was pretty horrible what he did but still don't know any details. That cripples me as a mother ... for some strange reason I NEED TO KNOW. I do know (she has told me) that he put his hands under her pants on her genitals on multiple occasions and groped her breasts (skin to skin) almost daily.

Her father is an alcoholic and does stupid things when he drinks... (including some violent threats in the past)... he's never admitted or been confronted about this. So tonight he is being served papers of the protection order of which he will know why given it's from my daughter.

So today I'm on edge jumping at every noise outside. He's never hit me or been violent (other than threats) but he's never been faced by the law that uncovers nearly 10yrs of decete...

This process the last few weeks has been a relief (finally knowing we have justice happening) and scary (as he is a manipulative, controlling, and abusive person) and I have no idea what will happen next.

Thanks for letting me vent to some people that know how I feel