Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
I'm Jae the mother of a 26 yr old & 18 yr old.
My 26 yr old yelled at me over something insignificant to me when she left my home. I get a txt that I'm a monster and that my ex boyfriend touched her multiple times. Her father told me it started when she was 10. She has blocked me since this revelation two weeks ago. I've been through the stages repeatedly. I want to die, I want to kill the man who hurt her, I want to go back in time and undo this, I want to ignore it, I want to give her space, I want her forgiveness, I want him in jail, I want pedophile tattooed on his neck, I want to castrate him, I want to praise my young adult, I want to hold my baby girl. I want this agony to diminish! I need help and the resources aren't here for me. She has blocked me says she will never speak to me again. I miss her. I let her down and I have no way of making it up to her or helping her.
I'm scared. Sickened. Horrified. Angry. Volatile. Devastated. Confused. And in therapy. But nothing is helping me cope. So here I am.
Here is a site with a ton of info about being the mother of a sexually abused child: mosac.net It helped me to just read that what I was going through was "normal" (given the circumstances) and that I wasn't awful or going crazy.
Unfortunately one thing that seems very common when a girl is abused is that she turns against her mother, or takes it out on her mother. Too many of us here have experienced that. I hope your daughter will get into therapy for herself and eventually heal and reconcile with you. But for now, all I can say is, I feel your hurt.
My daughter is her mother’s child. We make decisions and enforce them with pride. Getting her to give a little has always been me as the voice of reason. He father nor sister should jeopardize their connection because of my desperation to make a connection. She’s held the secret for 16 yrs and she managed to keep me around. I want someone to remind her of that. To explain I’m hurting for her & me. That person is usually me. I’m so broken. Thank you for your words.