Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
I thought I was married to the nicest, most charming, charismatic man in the world and I’ve been married to a sociopath who has been molesting our 3 year old child. I found out last winter and he was arrested and then bailed out.
The criminal investigation is still ongoing. We have a restraining order but he went ahead and filed for divorce and he wants to move forward with a trial for the restraining order and he is suing me for the kids, house, cars, everything. He’s trying to make my life hell and is bragging to everyone that the DA has dismissed the charges (not true) and he’s trying to get me for contempt of court so I know what it’s like when someone is thrown in jail (he’s a sociopath and instead of admitting he did something wrong to our kid, he’s saying I’m a b*tch that set him up).
It’s been 115 days since he was arrested (he was able to make bail that night) and the detectives kept in touch at first and now I can’t get any status on the investigation or anyone to respond back to me. Has anyone dealt with a criminal investigation and family court at the same time? Please share your story or any words of encouragement with me. I’m in so much pain and distress.
We had no idea she had a son. He was in jail in another state for rape. He wasn't supposed to leave the state and not register, so he violated his parole coming here.
I had to take my daughter to the ER after I found physical evidence of her abuse giving her a bath one night (I still feel sick to my stomach thinking about it) She was already very shy and struggling with her father's death (my husband died in a car accident with a drunk driver 2 years ago), The police were involved interviewing everyone and investigating all adult men she had contact with, because she wouldn't say who hurt her. When they learned it was him, he was extradited and sent back to jail to finish his full sentence in NM, and the DA here doesn't think prosecuting is a good idea.
Please let me know if you ever need to talk. :hugs:
Kristen
Even with that, the judge was completely uneducated about child sexual abuse in our particular situation (my twins were almost 8 yrs younger than the perp, and the perp was a young male teacher), the judge said it was all just a matter of immaturity, and gave the perp a 3 yr suspended sentence and 15 yrs on the sex offender registry. We did a lot of calling and speaking with the detectives and the asst prosecutor, and they did a good job of returning our calls and explaining things. I would say that you may need to keep calling and calling, and they should want to speak with you just to get you to leave them alone. Your tax dollars are paying their salaries, so it is their job to speak with you.
I have heard of people hiring private detectives to investigate and keep track of what the perp is doing, and I know it also helps to keep a journal/log of any communication you have with or about the perp, or anyone who is telling you things on his behalf, or any info you hear and who you hear it from. I may be wrong but if there's a criminal investigation going on and a restraining order involving him molesting his child, I doubt a judge would award visitation let alone custody.
Hang in there and try to stay positive. Take good care of yourself. Do lots of research that you can use in your favor, especially cases that are similar to yours where the outcome favored your situation. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, {{{hugs}}}