I'm so sorry this has happened to your son. It should never happen to any child. But because it does, loving moms instantly blame themselves and wonder how they couldn't have known. Those are just two of the diabolical aspects of this crime -- first, the way the perpetrator's guilt magically jumps onto others, and second, how we parents think we should have magically gained the superhuman power of mind-reading in order to know that this has happened -- or even to foresee the crime!!

The guilt is completely your nephew's (16 is plenty old enough to understand that this is wrong), and you couldn't possibly have known what was in his mind.

So please give yourself credit for what you have done exactly right: you believed your son. When children disclose and are believed, their healing has already begun. No matter what
legal, emotional, and familial turmoil may follow, you have accepted the truth and have thrown your support behind him -- the way a doctor has to know the diagnosis before committing to a course of treatment. It's remarkable that your son disclosed so quickly -- some of us here didn't learn for years -- and that means he will begin healing as a child, instead of living with buried pain until adulthood.

I know you have plenty to do -- in normal circumstances a mother of a five-year-old is busy -- but I hope you'll make time over the next couple of days to read through the excellent website www.mosac.net. Open up and slide your cursor down the entire drop-down menu to see all that's available there to help you understand your feelings, your son's feelings, and how this could have happened, and why you wouldn't have known.

I'm hoping you are able to keep your son completely away from his cousin from now on.

Thinking of you, sending support.

Ugh, so sorry for what you are going thru, but am glad you reached out here for support. I agree with what Naive said, my reply would basically be a repeat of hers. Please know you are doing the right things, this is nothing you would have been able to know or even imagine, so thinking you should have known is a completely unrealistic expectation you (and we all) have/had. The resulting feelings of guilt are so real and overwhelming, but hopefully sooner rather than later you'll come to see that the truth is that this guilt is not yours to own, but is that of the offender, whether he willingly owns it or not. It is his. My heart goes out to you and your family, please come here whenever you need to. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

A week,I remember so clearly that first week.Looking back now I know I was in a state of shock.We are coming up on 2 years.I am still having a hard time.sone days I am a mess, the good days are coming more frequently.The one thing we all have in common is we blame ourselves.,how could we not know? How could we know?We don't see evil every day.You don't know how well you have done,you did so much right.It will be a long hard road but your son has his young age in his side.its amazing he even told!There is no easy way to get through this,it's painful, you will be filled with anger so bad sometimes you won't know what to do.But it's a process.your life is forever changed,but you will find a way to make it through the dayI wish you the best

Thank you everyone for the support and advice. It's really hard. I was such a mess last week. It's so hard to carry on Day to day. I've significantly reduced the visitation times for my sons dad. He is allowed to go to his dads Friday- Sunday but has to be home every night by 7. And isn't allowed at his dads house. Is it wrong for me to want to put a tracker on My son -_- I get the worst anxiety when my son leaves. Im trying to take it one day at a time. I'm just hoping that the investigation goes by quickly and the police make an arrest. My little guy still doesn't understand too much but we will be starting therapy soon. I'm just worried for his future and how this will affect him later on in life. Does it ever get better?