I would move far away so there is no chance of pumping into them !!!

Bumping* into them

Move. We moved two states away and I'm so glad that I never have to run into any of my family nor my kids. We are starting over here and love everything about where we are. This was a move that was planned before we found out and I am so thankful I would be a mess trying to do what I am doing back home.

I concur...move while you can. Follow your gut!

Once I've graduated college, I'm moving as far away from here as possible and starting my life all over again. Toxic family relationships only result in more depression.

Maybe one of the few things I did right after my daughter was regularly abused by an adult neighbor was to move away from that neighborhood. Unfortunately, I didn't know about the abuse for another 14 years after we moved, and she never told us, nor any of her therapists, the real reason for her years of depression. The fact that we moved had nothing to do with her abuse. She believed she was worthless and put herself in harms way repeatedly over the years. But at least she was no longer exposed to him. You have the advantage of knowing that your child will require treatment, and of getting it NOW, so that she can grow up knowing that sanity and safety are possible, and with the sense that she is completely precious to you. I would highly recommend going somewhere else, starting over, never having to lay eyes on any of them again.

We are hoping our perp and his family move out of the area, and we would be surprised if they didn't. The perps family could more easily move, we have long standing jobs here, and our kids are both in school here. Our perp lives close to us, and even closer to my mother - so it is difficult, but thankfully we really haven't run into them yet, but it does cause problems. My son is already upset because I have made the comment that if in a year they haven't taken steps to move, we will - but I just don't see them staying - and I want to stay here to help and support my parents if they need it (they are getting older). If he were to enroll in public school, and would have any contact with either of my kids - that would be a game changer, but he is homeschooled and I don't anticipate his mother enrolling him in public school. I would like to run away - and if my parents didn't live so close, or if my son was younger, I would already have the house up for sale. Thankfully we only have the perps immediate family to deal with, as the rest of the family (those who know) are very supportive to us.

Move. If your husband agrees. We have been fortunate that our abuser (father in law) lives across the state. As do my other in laws that are supporting him. I can't imagine the additional pain it would cause if we lived in the same town. I hope you find an answer that brings you closer to peace.

I agree with the others, if you can move without it affecting you adversely, especially in terms of finances, it would most likely be a plus for a number of reasons. Several parents here over the years that I've been here, including myself, would have moved if they could. It was very difficult for a long time after disclosure being in public and being afraid to run into the offender, his family, his friends, or others who supported him. Things have calmed down considerably due to time and therapy, but I still have those days when I'm looking over my shoulder...

You may be surprised at the longevity and inertia of evil once it has settled. Now that she's locked in with an attorney, they may be more likely to stick it out in hopes of protecting and exonerating the kid. The lack of treatment is another bad sign. It's unfair that you are the ones feeling the push to move, but listen to that impulse, and look at your home sale as an opportunity to consider a different path. If you stay, you will want to notify the principals of your daughter's schools of what has occurred so they can be certain never to schedule them in the same classes, lunch periods, etc.

I would move her. The fewer triggers for your daughter in the future the better. I understand your fear that your SS's siblings could pose a problem. I would be afraid they might say things to her. Your SS's mother and husband's family aren't handling this situation appropriately. I wouldn't trust them at all. Now or in the future.

I'm hoping that you have a lawyer and fighting for your daughter.. He has a lawyer on his side so you should have one. It is a shame that you are the one feeling that you are trapped and have to move away but it is for the best. Protect your own kid first and everything is secondary. Stay away from the person who hurt your child, for her own good and your sanity as well. How would you feel safe knowing that he is there and there's a big chance that you guys can cross paths? I moved my kids an hour away from them( my sister and her husband , their 2 kids and, my mom who was so against me pressing charges). It is a difficult situation as it is, you don't need the extra stress . Let your daughter be carefree and not worry about this guy doing it again or seeing him .

The reasons many of you have talked about are the reasons why I want to move. I fear the future if we stay here because at some point, it is likely that someone will address the abuse with her. We live in a small town, so of course gossip is out of control. The only reasons why I worry about moving is because I'm worried about too much change for her. It has only been 3 months since we found out about the abuse. I worry about uprooting her from her school, gymnastics, girl scouts and her family all at once. At the same time, it feels like starting over now would be better than starting over later. She has a chance at making new friends at a young age and that makes sense to me. I know lots of people move and their kids are fine, but the worry just doesn't let up in my mind. We are only 3 weeks from school starting and I don't even know what school she will be in! I feel awful about that but we haven't found a new house yet. It makes me feel better that everyone feels like moving is the best option if it is possible.