I am so sorry. I don't know what to tell you. I do believe there is a chance that he could pass a polygraph and be still be guilty. If my girls were telling me their father touched them, I would believe them. No question. Of course, it's SO hard to believe that someone we though we know and loved could ever do something like this. So it's normal I think to want to believe that the perpetrator is innocent. I wonder if your gut told you that this was true when your girls told you? Listen to THAT and do not let him manipulate you!! I wish I could say something to make you feel better. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through. I'm glad you found this forum. Please be strong.

Sociopaths are very good at passing polygraph tests. No emotion means no detectable indicators that a person is lying.

He also knows that a polygraph test is inadmissible in court. He's hoping you don't know that. He's bluffing, trying to scare you off from taking action.

Polygraphs are so unreliable that there's even info online about how to pass one if you're lying:

http://www.livescience.com/33512-pass-lie-detector-polygraph.html

I'm not saying I don't believe my kids. What make this so hard is my oldest child has made up stories before to get people in trouble. She had cps called on my mom saying my mom put a shock collar on her and was forcing her to be a slave. She later confessed that she made up the story this is why I have my reservations about what happened. When this all came out my husband was in shock and now its just a deep depression. He has already told me to go for a divorce if i wanted and he wouldn't fight me on anything he gave me the house car and everything else i wanted with out a fight. We have separated before and he fought me over everything. He has given up what I use to see in him isn't there anymore he is scared and confused now. He doesn't try to give me reasons why he thinks my kids are lying he has lost the will to fight he says he doesn't care if they put him in jail for it he just needs to prove to me that he didn't hurt our children, my husband grow up in a home with a sexual abused mother and he grew up knowing the pain this causes i am sticking by my girls and believing them thank you all for the advice this is just a horrible time in my life it has only been one week and I'm so lost and scared and I have people all over telling what to do act and what I should feel and think. I have lost complete control over my life is what it feels like

I can hear the pain in your words. It's unusual for a child to make up stories to get others in trouble. It seems like an angry thing to do.Did this happen before she told you about her dad? Could it be that the abuse has been going on longer than she told you it was? Could it be that she made up stories about others who had not hurt her in order to test your reaction, to see if you'd stand by her? In retrospect, my daughter tried to disclose a million different, roundabout ways, but she couldn't tell me directly for another 14 years. Some of those ways seem like absurd long shots-- how would I ever have been able to guess from those indirect clues?

Also, is it possible that your husband was exposed to his mother's abuser when he was young? Could he have been abused too? That might explain his depression now. But it doesn't explain why both daughters, not just your eldest, disclosed.

This is misery, no matter how different our stories may be. My heart goes out to you....

Hi there, I totally understand your confusion. My daughter disclosed my husband abused her 15 years after it happened and I believed her I'm still currently living with him still (I'm in the process of moving out) but he denies it as well and too depressed and down, he's never really kicked off about it and although he's cried when I told him and when I said I was going to leave he just said he won't fight to stop me going he would just wait till I realise he didn't do it ad come back to him. It totally messes with your head and makes you question everything. I too believe my girl but I'm so confused by how he is whether he was capable of doing it.I know it sounds stupid it's like the two things aren't related. I do still love him I wish I didn't.
So the bits that my head don't under stand though. .
Why is he not kicking off why is he not trying to prove his innocence? If it was me I would do everything to prove I hadn't done it. Yes mine has mentioned lie detector but he said because he's on blood pressure medication they won't do one.
What does my daughter gain if it's not true? She would never hurt me if she didn't have to and she has risked loosing her brother she wouldn't do that for nothing. So what would your kids gain too ? I've read so much on the subject now and know that there disclosures are very rarely false.
If I stayed what would life ad like ? I can never erase the image of my now 27 year old daughter sobbing in my arms as she told me what he had done. That would gradually eat away at me I know. Your husband could pass the test it doesn't mean he's innocent 100% and you will never forget what you have heard.
How did I not know ? Well we will all ask ourselves that one and slowly realise alot of mums don't know, they are clever in the way they cover their abuse.
I am prepared to live mw marriage of 21 years for my daughter it hurts like hell and it will take me along time to get through / over the loss of my marriage and husband but if I couldn't protect her then I have to protect her now and help her recovery by going she can't heal knowing I'm still with him and he's still part of our family.
Your journey is going to be as long as mine and so hard.
Hang in there with your babies xx

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. My step dad who abused my daughter took and passed a polygraph to "prove" he didn't do it. And I guess in his mind prove my 3yr old is a liar....ha!!! Im sorry I wouldn't bother with the polygraph. Your daughters words are 100 percent all the proof you will ever need. Also, remember people capable of these despicable acts are not like you and me they do not reason like us and you will NEVER be able to understand the why of it. There is no logicalness it's insanity. No normal person throws away a family, a life, carreer, risks prison, not to mention destroying life and innocence accept by insanity that's what it is. You don't have to understand you just have to accept you will never understand and that's okay it's more than okay because it means you are everything he can't be, compassionate, empathetic, moral and more ... all he can do is imitate these qualities he doesn't have. I'm sorry you are getting so much in and I don't mean to add to it. But trust the experience here. We've been there. Not everyone has that perspective or insight. Hugs.

Emerald87........you are in shock......you can't take in the unthinkable.....I agree with all the replies......abusers will DO ANYTHING to get out of what they have done.....they know they will be lynched in prison, and shunned by society for ever more. Believe your girls....you are going to have to walk the most terrible road, but the alternative is to lose your kids, for an abuser!!!!!!!! Gain strength from here xxxxx

Oh God, sorry, I just took in your second post about your older daughters previous allegations......oh you poor poor thing.....how reliable is your younger daughter? Does she often collude with her older sister? The fact they are both saying it is telling. Also, I think abused kids often come out with shocking stories before they disclose.....to see what sort of reaction they get....I don't think it's intentionally misleading, they are just desperately hurt and confused and angry and scared.

My oldest makes up stories the time and yes the 2 of them saying it scares me the most, my oldest has made up stories a people beating her in my family. This all came out after having a blow up about my oldest going to live with her father who is on the sex,offender registry already. I don't know what to say about the other daughter other then she would do anything to get her sisters approval. This is what has me confused. I'm scared because when the youngest talked to the cps worker about it she was smiling and laughing like it was all a joke. I know the cps worker took her statement to heart. My husband is still removed from the home and i want it that way. I am confused and scared all the posibble outcomes of this scares the hell out of me. My husband has been getting things in order at the bank for me to keep the house and the car even if he is no longer around. He has given me access to his bank account to take whatever money I need for the bills and the kids. This is all confusing to me.