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Morality vs Pragmatism

SurvivalModeMomma
SurvivalModeMomma

As the title suggests, I have a question of whether I should do the moral thing or the self-serving thing.


The boy who abused my son has also abused at least 4 other children. My son disclosed in May, one disclosed in February, one in March, not sure about the others. As of May, the boy was still in Boy Scouts. I asked an acquaintance who works for BSA, she in turn asked the regional director (or whatever his title is), and they told me that under no circumstances would the boy be allowed to stay in Scouts if they knew about the allegations of abuse. Back then, my lawyer advised against me contacting the Boy Scout Council directly, because it could be construed in custody court as me being vindictive. As a result I informed our CPS caseworker, who eventually told me that she turned it over to the legal team to deal with. I assumed it would be dealt with. (All of this was concluded in July.)


Today I found out that he's still in Scouts, meaning the council has not been informed of the allegations. So my question is this:


Do I do what is best for me, just calling CPS again and hoping they do their job, or do I try to prevent him from abusing anyone else by calling the council directly (& anonymously) to tell them? I'm leaning towards the latter, but I wanted other opinions.



(For reference, custody court is a dependency neglect case against my son's father because he knew the boy had abused others, knew my son didn't want to come to his house/had other signs, yet didn't inform me or my son's therapist, leaving my son in the house with the boy who abused him every weekend. So my lawyer thinks they might use me telling the council about it to say that I'm vindictive.)

Momabearx10
Momabearx10
Has the boy who abused been investigated? Any chance of charges being pressed against him? If so it will prob work itself out if charges will be pressed.

If not, im no lawyer but id say anonymously call and say i heard a rumor etc.. ?

But if your trial is coming up, maybe best to wait?
SurvivalModeMomma
SurvivalModeMomma
The DA decided not to press charges because of his age and own history of abuse. He has a file with CPS, and the caseworker told me that because of the number of instances, if he reoffends at age 13 or after he will be charged as an adult.

My trial was supposed to be this week, but my ex's lawyer scheduled another trial on that day and got our trial continued to April...
Naive1.2
Naive1.2
The tough thing about anonymous calls these days is that you'd have to find a land line that doesn't belong to someone you know. A pay phone that accepts change (not debit cards) would do the trick, but where can you find one of those these days? Everything else is traceable, and then you could face slander charges....This world!!!

The "good" news is that, since he is already known to CPS, it's safe to call the troop leader from your own phone and let him know the boy is under investigation.
warriormomx5
warriormomx5
Telling others about a child who creates a safety issue in a group is never an easy thing to do. However I am so glad that we did do what we did because one of the things that we had on our side is the truth. It's highly unlikely that our perpetrator family would dare to press charges against us for slander because we're not slandering or simply stating facts which is there has been a police investigation in the past due to allegations of sexual and physical abuse to our family. What is done with the information that we share with other people is up to them and honestly I haven't even had to mention the name of the individual because everyone I've spoken with knows exactly the family I'm talking about when I share what I share. We were able to finally have positive movement in the right direction after 3 years of trying to create safety in a specific Children's Group... Not only was monster family not allowed to share about their supposed missionary work but the parents were not allowed to go to the classrooms with the children were, the children were continually watched and monitored and enforced stay in classrooms with adult supervision, the family was made to fill out paperwork with current local information so that that is now on file, and we were able to get a welfare check through CPS by police in the four days that we had to work with. Or at least a promise of such obviously we don't know what happened after the call. Personally we didn't actually make the call I had my daughter's therapist make that call because my voice has been heard so many times that it's annoying to cps-. Anyways my encouragement is yes the safety of other children I do believe is a priority but do it safely and especially in light of your own current circumstances in your custody case be as Anonymous as possible and maybe even get somebody else to make the call.