Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Been a bit since I've felt such sadness but we recently came across old videos during the time we blissfully unaware of the evil around the bend. I woke up last night with my mind tracking down old thought trails of what if, how could I, what will happen next, is there ever a resolution and will the perp ever face consequences even from the immediate family that continues to deny the events. As was my usual I comfort myself in prayers so I can eventually go back asleep. Haven't spoken to my family for six years aside from a stray text from one of my brothers or email from my mom asking as always for news on the kids but painfully unwilling to address the truth of her offending husband, the threat he posses to other grandchildren and the damage irreparable to our family.
when I think of my family there are no feelings there just nothingness healing? Suppression of feelings? My only deep hurt I carry is for my daughter and what she suffered and the utter lack of support for her from them...her a mere three year old then but almost double digits now. They deny she went a year almost without smiling or laughing, that she had horrible nightmares, that she told me "grandpa slept in my bed" or that in detail hurt her, that she wouldn't let me carry her up or down stairs. That I had to retrain her on how to play appropriately with her dolls and was afraid of letting her play without constant supervision fearing she'd inadvertently expose other children. From the moment I had knowledge of what happened she has had my and her fathers and brothers total support and nothing makes me more happy than knowing she never has to face them again, never has to have painful memories triggered by being around them. She only has those who offer love and support and safety! I just hope and pray that's enough
hugs to you the village that helped me through the darkest times of my life!
I'm so sorry you were drawn back into the trauma. I just want you to know that, out of the blue the other day, I also had a surge of anger toward the perpetrator. I haven't "gone there" in so long, it was stunning! I suddenly thought, "It's time to make him pay, it's time to break my silence!" (although we reported to the police, my daughter refused to press charges, so, for all he knows, I don't know!). I flashed on him dying a lonely death from Covid. But then he wouldn't know that I know! I thought, why not email his employer while we're all at home, just to let them know about their "esteemed" colleague's sickening past. But that would add to their unpleasantness at this time. In any case, I thought, WOW! I thought I was beyond that!
I don't suppose it helps that we're all on edge because of this virus and the worst economy in 90 years. When the only place we have to look for the concept of "normal" is in the past, those of us who have suffered trauma will be quickly reminded that the past wasn't all "the good old days."
In fact, tomorrow I'm likely to encounter some of what you experienced the other day. Because our daughter recently had her first baby, she has been very curious to look at her baby pictures. I had found it very painful to look at them since she disclosed eight years ago, so when my husband and I downsized last year, we left all our family photos in our storage unit. Tomorrow, with some trepidation, he and I will drive down to retrieve them for our daughter. I'm going to have to sort through them, to be sure she sees only "before" pictures. I will definitely be thinking of you, Heart, and I'll be grateful for your "company."