Ouch. Well, then, if you're in "labor," I guess the only thing I can say is to breathe.....

With my daughter she was just three when it happened at least one traumatic incident four months later she disclosed to me in detail what happened. I knew because of the internet searches and other signs that something happened. So I too had that agonizing period of waiting for disclosure and the case hinging on her ability to disclose. We had left the state when she disclosed and I told the Detective what she said including there was penetration but the case still did not move forward because she would have to be able to disclose in an interview and be have a very strong ability to say what happened not only then but in court. At the end nothing happened. Just so you are prepared. I really wanted prosecution of course but for us that did not happen. Also they really look at you and if you coaxed or planted any ideas of what happened. So be sure when he shares do not suggest any part of it let it be his words. This is hard but know that with counseling and support it will get better. The good that came from the criminal side not moving forward was my then focusing on my daughter's well being as well as my sons. I hope your case gets justice.

My little guy was very stoic and brave for his forenzic interview. The problem is we didn't know until a couple of weeks before he went in that he had also been a victim or to what extent. Our case was closed so quickly, due to reasonable doubt and dismissal of "just bullying " and my daughter "overexagerating " that I never got to share the new disclosures that were quite concerning about my 4 year old. I'm hopeful that he will disclose his secret to his new "talking friend" next week when he has his 1st appt. He would be fine testifying not only with the police but also in court because his perp is a long time family friend who's only 10 and he has an innate sense of justice inside him, much like myself interestingly enough, where he will do what he must if it's the right thing to do. I'm not pushing, prodding or putting words in his mouth. Simply asking the questions any mom would if their child said their bottom hurt! "How long?" "What gave you an owie?" "Should we go to the dr?" "Can I see your owie?" I only ask when he brings it up in relation to a normal life context. And he doesn't know about what the other kids have said including that his sister witnessed it. Honestly, I feel like God is handing us a 2nd chance to do this right now that we are no longer friends with the monster's family.

My 4 year old has a new tick to add to his constant tucking of his shirt in, rubbing his ears/tucking them into themselves and hiding...now he won't really sit flat on his bottom. He is constantly adjusting sitting on top of his legs, side to side, bouncing and he doesn't even realize he's doing it! I had talk with him about "sex" today but not in that term. We talked about penises and vaginas and how God made them like locks and keys. 2 locks together don't really work just like 2 keys together don't. But if a key and lock go together it can unlock something special! We were playing connect 4 so he chose boys to be red and girls yellow and then repeated what I said with colors. We talked about how red and yellow make orange, a new thing, but if you put the same colors together nothing changes. I shared that God gave men sperm in their testicles and women eggs in their uterus, the special muscle that stretches and protects a baby when it's growing inside, and that when adults get married, emphasis on adults, they can come together and the man's sperm can go to the egg to make a baby! God's design includes it feeling good but kids shouldn't have that happen to them because it's wrong. We also talked about what God made the anus for. He said it's for poop to come out and I validated, yes, for bad stuff to go out. Should something go in? He said no. He was a little uncomfortable with the conversation but by the end looked relieved and felt better. I hope this will give him the information he needs to share with his therapist the truth. I've also been constantly telling him that no matter what happened, I love him and he's my precious boy! He will not get in trouble.

So, I figured I'd keep updating this thread as my kids talk things out. Yesterday was an intense day as both my daughter and little guy had MAJOR PTSD anxiety against each other! Memories kept popping up in their heads in regards to monster boy coupled with the overwhelming remembrances of seeing each other being abused on top of triggers happening from each other all day long. It was a LONG day for me. They both were desperate for my comfort but terrified to be touched by each other so I was literally split down the middle hugging each with one arm. The day ended in a burst of extreme tears on both their parts and than a glimmer of light...

...they bonded over their perpetrator hurting them, completely unprovoked from me! I got 1/2 of it on a voice recorder. They kept drawing pictures of their ugly, scribbled, naked monster boy and then ripping him up or crumpling him up and throwing it on the floor. My daughter even set up a "kicking board" with a taped piece of paper of a drawn monster boy that she encouraged my 4 year old to beat up. It was kinda funny but also cute. We of course ended our session of reminding them that we need to forgive and it's not o.k. to ever hurt someone like that in real life, just like they had happen to them.

Another 2 disclosures came out from my daughter that prove all the more that this 10 year old boy is evil incarnate. As a direct response to "are you excited about our bonfire tonight and roasting marshmallows?" she freaked out & drew that he cornered her and held up a stick of fire to try to burn her in his backyard. She also freaked out when her little brother jumped into a big box with her (quite literally a split second of normal childishness) and she jumped up and ran away to her room mortified. Later she explained that her brother's "penis was right in my face and that's what (monster boy) used to do...nevermind." I knew we'd get to this part someday after my 12 year old already told me about his oral sex experience.

Anyways, you can read my other post to hear about the other frustrations. Good news is, my little guy has his 1st therapy session next week! No more waiting for 4-6 months! Yay! :)

If there is any way people can wiggle out of calling something sexual abuse, they will. It needs to be so blatant for them to say "oh shit" can't get out of prosecuting this. You see the TV shows of cops pretending to be teen girls on line and busting the kiddie perp. These cops appear to have a thrill from the catch. That's not real life. Real life is they will only go after a perp if their hands are forced into it and the situation is blatantly obvious.

Such incredible breakthroughs! I know it is so VERY hard for you to watch. Everything you have explained above is such big steps in progress. No matter what happens to devil boy, your children are healing.

My 4 year old had just finished playing in the mud so I had him take a warm shower in his clothing to get that cleaned off 1st and then I left him and told him to take his clothes off and get clean- I'll be back to get him out of the shower in a couple minutes. When I came back in, which was maybe five minutes later, he was naked and his penis was extremely erect and red. I said "(name) what have you been doing?" He said "nothing!" I said "(name) tell me the truth. what have you been doing?" He looked very skittish and made his really funny squiggly line face and then I said "okay pretend like my finger's your penis and show me what you were doing?" (I honestly was concerned that he'did tried to hurt himself!) He grabbed my finger and began to go back and forth with his right hand gripped around my finger. He went back and forth, back and forth, back and forth very precisely. I asked him where he learned that from? And immediately he responded "(monster boy) taught me." I said "oh really? how did he teach you?" And he said "with a puppet show. He showed me key to key and lock to lock." (Our earlier sex talk made vaginas locks and penises keys.) I said "what kind of Puppets?" and he explained to me that they were "little puppets on the fingers. He had them on all his fingers  like the whole hand."  I asked him if he liked (monster boy's) puppet show? And he said "I didn't watch it because he was doing it with my penis and i didn't want to see because I was a little kid and didn't know what to do."  I told him that was not a very nice puppet show and that we weren't going to do that kind of thing anymore. I explained to him that it's normal for little boys to be curious about their private parts but not to play with them like THAT. I reminded him that it's normal to feel good when we play with our private parts and that God made it that way but it's supposed to be for when we're married not when we're little kids.  He nodded in understanding and a smile crossed his face. I hugged him, he was better, we got his clothes on (he HAD been wrapped in a towel) and we joined everyone else in the living room.

See?! Monster! I feel like this kid has like 40 years experience under his belt in how to groom children into being sexually with him! This would have been when my little guy was 2 1/2-3 1/2 and monster boy was 8 1/2-9 1/2 years old. I didn't see THIS coming...grooming...I figured it was more forced on my little guy because he was bigger than him.

Perfect thing to share with his new counselor.. and I think this counts as TRUE molestation with the 6 year age gap! Only 6 more days until this can be shared with someone who will report it and be taken seriously (his new therapist)!
And I think I should report this specific incident to the police as well, right?
I'm still wondering if I should report my daughter's seeing 4 year old be "saxed boy to boy" by monster boy or if I should wait for little guy to share it himself before reporting it?

Wow...just wow.

Damn it. "I didn't want to see because I was a little kid and didn't know what to do." That really sums up the whole experience for our kids. Heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.

This morning...
I saw my little guy hiding behind the arm chair.
I knew it was because he was probably having another bad memory.
All the kids were calm.
I went to the bathroom.
My 12 year old thought said 4 year old wanted to make a tent and threw a sheet over the arm chair.
4 year old freaked out, grabbed sheet and ran and pounded on the bathroom door wailing in tears that his brother was trying to hurt him! (I truly thought someone was dying!)
Said brother kept repeating "I was just trying to help you make a tent! I thought you were trying to play!"
In my stuck position (on the toilet with the door cracked open) I begged my 12 year old to just walk away and that I'd deal with it as soon as I was done.
He finally listened but the 4 year old ran after him and started trying to "slap and punch and kick and hit him."
I verbally got them to separate and had little guy stay near bathroom with me and 12 year old walk away.
I was finally able to physically get involved...I talked with both of them. (That's how I know this story's details.) They both agreed that big brother had done nothing wrong but misunderstand the hiding.
I explain to my 12 year old that we've already had a rule of no tents (perp used to make them to abuse) so he needs to just follow that rule. We also discussed that if brother is hiding, leave him alone. And lastly, always walk away if he's going after you...to a safe place and ask for help to fix situation.
4 year old explained he was hiding because he had a bad memory and felt "scared." The sheet scared him more because he was thinking of the "(monster boy)". When he ran into the hallway he began to feel "shy and scared " but no other emotions even when he ran after brother to hurt him. He said that brother reminded him of monster boy so he didn't want to be near him. We talked about how memories can make us feel physical symptoms sometimes and that's normal but that we need to get a parent if we need help instead of hurting siblings.

Everyone is better...except me. Because I "have an agenda against the other family"...per the detective...because you know THIS is what I was looking forward to after surviving our hell year with cancer, my husband almost dying, losing and fighting to regain my drivers license, being told I might have a brain tumor or seizure disorder, being forced to go through numerous uncomfortable medical tests while 7-8 months pregnant (and dealing with my 1st bout of gestational diabetes) to prove I was fit to drive, depending on numerous others to drive myself and my children to all medical appts. Including weekly chemo in the hospital for 9 months due to loss of license, having a baby, my oldest son (cancer patient who I'd almost lost due to liver failure from chemo) moving away after learning he molested his sister, losing most our friends and causing even more stress on our extended family, not being intimate with my husband for 1 1/2 years (worse now because of all the sexual abuse stories), having to pay for my son to do counseling in another state because our insurance wouldn't cover it, flying him in every 3 months to again get scans and find out if he had cancer reoccur or not, me diagnosed with fibromyalgia which has been made worse due to lack of sleep/stress/no time to exercise and dealing with a uterus issue where I had to wait for a biopsy to come back to find out if I had cancer...

Oh, yes, I WANTED to pursue my best friend's family and create drama because I didn't have enough I was dealing with already! Oh, and yeah, I chose to make that drama my children being raped, molested, punched, kicked, stabbed, cut, called names, denied access to a phone to call me when they were hurt, emotionally act out, struggle to sleep in their own bed, wet their bed almost every night, wake up screaming from fear, not be able to be around each other because of what they saw happen to each other, their privates hurting, afraid to go to the local church because of memories, not be able to focus on their school work for almost the entire school year, talk with CPS workers, talk with policemen, go to weekly therapy which again took months to get in to....yeah, I have an agenda alright because I WANTED my kids to be even MORE stressed than they already were after surviving the year of hell.

*sigh* my little guy's therapist better diagnose him with ptsd a.s.a.p. because that just gives so much more credence to the TRUTH. You know, that thing that I've been fighting for for the past 10 months?!

Sorry...just needed to get it out. Meanwhile...the other family continues to live life with all their kids under one roof, going to all their normal places, pretending nothing has happened. "Just normal childhood curiosity."

i too keep a journal writing down every disclosure from my children during the last (almost) two years since disclosure. Please keep doing it. When you take a breath and read it all backwards, you will be amazed at noticing how all the pieces of the big puzzle finally fit together, and you will finally have the big picture of what happened. As one prosecutor said, circumstantial evidence and proofs are like the strings of a strong cord, thin by themselves, but when you tie then together, you can finally see the solidity of a case (that prosecutor worked on the case of Brryann (sic) Stewart, the baby, now 25 years old, who was injected by HIV by his father when he was a 10 month old baby, and he survived!)