I'm so sorry. Do you belong to a church or synagogue? A member of clergy may be able to provide counseling, or at least be a stop-gap substitute for a therapist until you can find one who works well for you. Can the school psychologist practice independently? Or recommend someone who does? Are there any peer support groups in your area? Certainly, your daughter should be seen ASAP by a psychiatrist for any meds that may help -- your MD can recommend one, I'm sure!!

I don't know if you have a mental health facility there where they have inpatient/outpatient services, but if you do I recommend going there. Also, if you have a number for an mental health crisis you can call that. If not, you could try the emergency room. If none of those things are an option then the only thing to do is wait.

Seem to be making some headway in all this. Had a really good discussion at the school and they are very supportive, understanding and are willing to accommodate dd's needs any way they can. They will talk with dd tomorrow and put some specific measures in place to help her.

Dd is in a better space and has come out of the fog a bit. She is laughing, concentrating on homework, playing basketball with her sister and more like herself. One of the kindest things the school principal said today is that we will get our daughter back, it's just going to be a rocky road to get there. He has personally seen this happen with several students. I just sat there and cried when he said this. It's hard when you see their life slipping between their fingers.

Discussed treatment options with dd too. I have an appointment with my doctor for next week and she is happy to go. We will also try and get an urgent appointment with a psychiatrist in the local adolescent mental health team. My counsellor said that she really needs to have her meds reviewed - either increased or completely changed or something else added in.

Thanks for your suggestions. We had already been to the emergency unit of our local hospital and that was a shambles. Dd does not want to go to any of the inpatient services as they are all for adults.

Anyway, thanks for your prayers and support. I had someone dump a whole heap of blame on me today and saying that my kids should be taken off me because I caused the problem and should have known that something was wrong. It's been a hard day to get through, but I made it and we are all laughing and making plans for the holidays in a month's time.

I am so sorry-I can't even think about how hard this must be. You are an amazing momma!

That anyone would blame and shame you is dreadful. Can you delete that person from your life ?

People who do that are only in the deluded position of thinking that they would be able to detect a problem, given the same information you had. Heaven help them if they ever actually discover that what appears normal in their lives masks something terrible. CSA is a cancer that grows undetected until disclosure.

Nothing to add to these wise comments, except more hugs. Take care of yourself!

Thanks. I have deleted one of these people from my life, a stranger on another group. One person reported it as abuse on my behalf. I had only recently reached the point of believing that it was not my fault and did the best I could. Having a stranger just dump and rant made me angry, but it didn't undo my decision. I think that unless you walk this path as a parent you don't really understand all the layers of complexity and hurt that there are. I have more than asked myself again and again if I caused all this in the first place, if, if, if, if. I have bigger issues to deal with so forgiving myself and not blaming myself were necessary to move forward in other more important areas in this journey.

The other person who recently dumped a whole heap of blame our way was my husband's sister whom we approached to help us walk through this painful season in our lives. She was good to begin with but then took things too far. She still can't see that she has done anything wrong or hurtful. We have completely backed off in that relationship and will never trust again. Two counsellors have asked us whether there is an issue in her life that caused her to react the way she did, but we aren't aware of one. Who knows.

Anyway, thanks for your support and encouragement. Today is a new day and we have the strength to make some decisions and see if we can find some medical support for our daughter who seems in a better space than a few days ago, but she is very good at masking her pain. Let's say that her mood is better at least, but I know that the pain is never far from the surface. I think that her struggles with dissociation last week triggered her into a deeper depression. Praying that she soon gets the medical help she needs.

Hi hun - keep navigating away from anyone adding negativity in your life. It's time to clear ship so u can stay afloat - and the bad ones walk the plank first :-)
One thing I know very clear and beyond a shadow of a doubt is that you do NOT need criticism right now (even if u indeed made mistakes) what you need is SUPPORT - and Hell, I feel very strongly about this now and you are in a much worse acute stage right now than me!!!

That damn SIL needs a new occupation!!!

Thanks 96Percent. I laughed at the walking the plank bit.

SIL was a counsellor many years ago, but is still very involved in social justice issues like reclaiming the night, an annual local event making a statement that women should be able to be safe walking around in public at night time. She has since moved on with careers and is now a professional glass artist. Just a pity that the one family member we turned to for help because we saw her as having it together, being level headed etc ended up hurting us so badly.

Back to our dd, she actually managed to get out of bed on time for school this morning and was in a pretty good mood, even playing some piano. I think that she will be up to her dance class this evening (she loves her dancing, it is a good physical outlet for her). I also think that knowing we are doing things on her behalf like getting help at school and making medical appointments has helped to put her in a better space and give her strength to go on.

All good, forward motion. Please, if your think it's appropriate, let your daughter know that she has a whole community of other parents here who believe and support her, and that our children have also faced dark moments the way she did. She is NOT alone. It takes guts to keep moving forward, and I (probably speaking for all of us) salute her courage.

Oh much more appropriate job for SIL - she can put all her hot air to good use blowing up some glass bubbles!!!

That's funny 96Percent.

Had a horrible evening. Dd and I both fell apart, but I did after she had gone. She ended up falling asleep in my arms and is so exhausted. Poor thing just can't think enough to get her schoolwork done and was there in tears because it's due tomorrow and it's part of what she has to do in class tomorrow. I was trying to help her and falling apart myself. This has been such a long hard week. Off to see my counsellor in the morning. Will probably be too tired myself to make much sense. Then I spend the day with my best friend who has been amazing throughout this ordeal (she even gave me a massage voucher very unexpectedly).

Hugs and thanks to all.