Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hi guys. I haven't been on here in a while, because my therapist and I decided that reading these threads was doing me more harm than good. But I'm back because I have a question for all of you.
My son's abuse ended over two years ago. He has not been around the perpetrator since then, and he has "graduated" from therapy. He has lasting anxiety and depression issues, but I don't know how much of that is just genetic (I have a history of both since childhood). We're working through those issues, doing the best we can.
The issue that we haven't been able to overcome is his lasting bathroom issues. When the abuse was going on (over a year before I knew), he regressed with potty training. (He was 7, so it was a surprise, but I didn't connect the dots.) He would hold in his poop until he had small accidents. This continued after he disclosed the abuse, and the frequency/severity varies. He is now ten years old and two years post-disclosure, two years free from abuse, and he still has this problem.
We talk about it, I tell him he needs to go straight to the bathroom if he feels the urge, instead of holding it in; he says okay, but nothing changes. His therapist tried when he was still seeing her, to no avail. At this point I'm worried about this causing lasting social issues for him, and further damaging his self esteem.
I know this is a common issue for victims of sexual abuse, so I was hoping someone here could offer advice. Thanks!
My daughter didn't have this issue related to sexual abuse but when she was a preschooler she had chronic constipation and incontinence issues. I know that when constipation has gone on a long time it can just perpetuate itself, that even if he tries he might not be able to feel when he needs to go or get to the bathroom in time, etc. Have you consulted a medical doctor who specializes in these kind of issues? Even if the abuse is the underlying cause, you wouldn't want the physical issues to end up making it impossible for him to make progress.