I know...you probably are as skeptical as I was when I 1st joined this online support group and was told THAT very thing from some of the "oldies," BUT, now I've lived it and I can confirm that, YES, life gets better after disclosure.

We just passed the 9 year anniversary from our daughter disclosing.  It was the day we came home from our oldest son's Make-a-Wish trip (he had cancer; he's almost 9 years remission.) We had come back from the amazing trip, with the expectation of putting a period on the chapter of "trials" & moving forward into "blessings."

We had truly had an unprecedented year, that sounds like a Shakespeare tragedy but it was our life, that started with us finding out we were pregnant with our 5th baby, followed 1 week later with our oldest sharing that he had a "lump" in his privates, the response of his doctors moved incredibly fast with him losing a testicle and being diagnosed with cancer, a couple months later I had my driver's license medically removed, thus necessitating us hiring a personal driver to take me to OBGYN appointments/neurology appointments to prove I was fit to drive as well as take all my kids to school and their various activities/grocery shop/therapies and of course our oldest's chemo/hospital stays, our oldest survived liver failure due to his cancer treatment (luckily turning around to better health), a few months after that my husband/their dad almost died on the day of our end-of-chemo party, Hubby spent a week in the ICU and then had to learn to walk again, in which he was fired from his job...and the 1st Christmas after disclosures we almost lost our home! 

We didn't even get to unpack our 7 suitcases before this new, heart-breaking (literally), painful trial was dramatically layed at my husband's & my feet by our sobbing little girl who seemed to feel both relief and distress in the same breath as she shared.  She was 8 and had been abused sexually/physically/emotionally/mentally by a family who we had called "best friends" & a bit by her oldest, cancer patient brother, instigated by her acting out due to the hidden abuse by our "friends" & him thinking "what the heck, I'm going to die anyways." A couple weeks later our special needs 12 year old son disclosed, by the same family.  A few months later, our precocious 3 1/2 year old son disclosed, by the same family.  It had been going on for years but cancer year was the worst & involved our toddler. We reported to CPS, & I made so many calls with new disclosures that they were getting tired of hearing from me!  WE created our own safety plan and implemented it before they even visited!  We reported all our kid's perpetrators to the police, even our cancer-laiden son.  (Thankfully the prosecutor chose not to press charges against him.) Unfortunately, everyone in THAT family threw their youngest son under the bus, as he was the only one who had confessed and was too young to prosecute in our state, so nobody was held accountable for the next few years of intense PTSD and trauma our family worked through!  To add insult to injury, after we reported the adults to the police due to our toddler's disclosures, they moved their family to another country as soon as the case was closed!!!  We sent our oldest to live with family in another state, with visits for medical appointments as he recovered from cancer, because our home had become a clown house of domino triggers, with me popcorning from one kid to the next attempting to difuse each PTSD episode only to trigger new ones, all while holding my littlest baby close to my heart.  We were trying to create a safe space for the kids & I felt like I was failing. 

Rock bottom was when I was nursing my baby, and I heard my daughter screaming in the baby's room...I rushed to help her but bumped into my special needs son in the doorway, thus triggering him to punch me, thus triggering my toddler to melt down crying, also triggered, on top of which the baby was crying because I had abruptly stopped his dinner, and when I finally got to my daughter, she was completely dissociated under the crib, screaming at the top of her lungs in terror, fear filling her eyes!!  I laid down on the floor after telling my special needs son that I forgave him as he went to guilty cry in the bathroom, holding my crying baby close as he searched for dinner in my bossom, gathering my sad little toddler to my side, holding my daughter's hand quietly saying "you're safe, I'm right here, nobody can hurt you" and I just cried.  We all melted into one, big, wet, mess of a pile.  We stayed there for hours and my little girl didn't stop screaming for close to an hour.  This was the time period where school was 2 math problems and reading a book in one day.  THAT was all the focus the kids had in that time period!

Then a year later, our oldest disclosed he too had been a victim by a neighbor kid who had forced him to drink urine from his privates... triggered by his sister sharing about that same type of abuse in regards to one of the boys who'd hurt her.  On top of that, as each child perpetrator became an adult, the perp parents sent them back to our country/state!  (The audacity!!)

Life began to give us some sugar to accompany all the lemons!  My husband's job realized they couldn't function without him, so they hired him back with a raise!  We got stronger, figured out the perp's older kid's addresses, and began requesting "well checks" on the younger kids when/if they visited for the holidays...they finally stopped visiting. ;) We found all our kids great therapists, my hubby visited the gun range a LOT (that was his therapy), & I found a therapist that I still see.  The kids joined the local swim team and relearned that boy's & girl's bodies don't have to be sexual objects.  My kids slowly "healed from the inside out," something we prayed for day & night, & still do.  Their brains began to focus and learn again!  We joined a musical theater group & the kids performed and gained self confidence!  Our oldest went into remission and was able to move back home, blessed by CPS amazingly.  Finally, a couple years after the 2020 debacle, our kids decided they didn't need to see their therapists as often...and then only sometimes...and then rarely...and then they "graduated!" This opened the opportunity for our family to sell our home, get out of debt, & move to a new state!

Our family is thriving in our new location and even though after about a year, they all asked to find new therapists (which we're in the process of doing), and even though we've had some medical situations (not as scary as our "hell year"), EVERYONE has shared lately that life "is better!"

So, no matter where you are in your journey, please don't think you will always be stuck in that painful, broken-hearted state.  It REALLY DOES get better.  Just be patient and don't give up.  You've got this!