Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
So yesterday my little sister who has only been married for a year hosted our fourth of July get together. She's a little immature and still lives in the world of partying so her friends that were over we're all kind of drinking but not horribly excessively. But I think my sister had a disassociative episode last night and I know that she had an extremely intense anxiety episode that lasted almost an hour.
She's never had a full-fledge panic attack in front of me but a partial one. Even she said last night was the worst she's ever had! She was drunk on top of it but I spent 4-5 hours shadowing, helping her breath & grounding her as she cried, wandered, hid, screamed, verbally cut herself down, violently hit her head on my mom's car like 10 times (She left dents), and talked about dying. Granted, the fact that her military husband cheated on her while deployed came out, but the first part of her anxiety, the part she doesn't remember and where she didn't recognize her favorite sister (not me) or husband, had nothing to do with that issue.
She has recently gone on an anxiety medication and I understand that drinking can make things worse, but if she was on the right med, would she have been that bad?! She Shared that she hasn't been fully honest with her therapist, who she hasn't seen in a while. I really think she has more than just generalized anxiety...i think she might have PTSD coupled with dissociation. She Struggles to talk about anything in her past including our parents, her abusive boyfriends, childhood, etc.
During her dissociation, she thought some guys were going to hit her (our mild-mannered brother-in-law & mellow wish sponser, who'd never!) and she was huddled in fetal position trying to get me to hide with her. She also reacted to a firework bang as if it was a gunshot, setting her off again after I'd partially calmed her down. Then she went and hid under a truck lying down!
My kids (only the younger 3, 2 big boys are at camp) were safe during all this, playing, having fun with dad & friends. They saw minimal but my daughter did react because of the crying which caused her to have a short anxiety attack which daddy fixed. Sadly, we missed fireworks and calming down a panicked sister & marital counseling wasn't exactly how my hubby and I planned to spend our night! I'm so tired...of so many things...my sister reminded me of my kids worst episodes put together. It took an emotional toll on me but she needed a stable relative to lean on...and has the same narcissistic mom & narcissistic-sociopathic dad as me which leaves us pretty lonely...
If your sister is on anxiety meds, that tells me she's seeing some sort of mental health professional. Do you know the doctor's name? You are within your rights to call him/her to report this frightening episode, but you might do well to speak with her first, to get her consent -- or her "favorite" sister could talk with her, if she's willing. It sure sounds like PTSD and possible dissociation to me, and both would be within the normal for someone who suffered an upbringing like yours. Your sister should feel no shame for experiencing something normal!
Also, anti-anxiety meds are nothing to mess around with, esp. not with alcohol. She may have suffered concussive damage as a result of banging her head so many times, something that may have been difficult to ascertain if she was drunk/drugged. You would want to mention this to her doctor as well. might
Gosh, what an upsetting holiday. Glad your kids didn't get a full sense of what was going on.