I understand at first I wanted to know what was going on with my mom and stepdad also. But unfortunately the more I knew the angrier I was. It became clear my mom was in complete crazy denial. And my step dad passed a polygraph saying he did nothing. I finally had had enough and I knew that taking in all that information was only making an already unimaginably painful situation more painful. I was already struggling to handle being a good mom to a now traumatized child and grieving sibblings dealing with a loss of thier grandparents. I had anger issues and I've never been one to easily lose my temper but suddenly I was snapping too often.

For me I had to make a decision and really it was easy to make in the sense that it was clearly needed. I couldn't do what was needed for my kids when my mind was consumed with what "they" were doing. At first it was hard "not knowing" but after a while I was doing much better. I joined a recovery group started making new friends ... It's been a slow process but worth while.

You need that energy for positive things... Not crazy making things. Process your own losses, your grief, your anger, be an example of setting good boundaries. I've lost my mother thru this so I know. The pain is deep and it takes along time to accept but you will get there. Sure I think about them I wonder if he is hurting other kids or if there will be other victims and I'm not there to intervene. I pray for God to bring truth in the darkness. I accept I don't have control and I've done my best to inform my family. But I can't make them believe me or set appropriate boundaries. That's up to them.

I agree cutting ties was the best thing I did.I spoke to my sister in law daily and I miss her terribly,It also kills me not knowing what is going on.She would tell me thongs my mother in law said and her and I worked out the details of when they came up here to visit(so we could stay away).I sometimes try to talk myself into calling her,stuff like she didn't do this, her son admitted to most of it, she offered to pay for therapy,she wanted him to write an apology letter and so on.But bottom line is it bothered my daughter plus every time I talked to her I could hear him in the background.If she would have agreed to take him to counseling maybe I would feel different..I too had alot of anger issues and since I have not spoken to her they are mostly gone.We may loose more family, my inlaws, part of my daughter's PTSD has to do with going to their home(where it happened),They have been on vaca for the last 3 weeks so we have not told them yet but we cannot go to their home.I don't know how long,it may be forever and the therapist suggested my husband and I don't go either to show family support for our daughter,it is not going to be pretty when we tell them but oh well.My daughter is in a very bad,dark place and I will do what has to be done.

Thanks guys for helping me re-focus. It is SO hard, this whole thing! I know we need to join a new group somewhere but I just don't have the emotional strength yet to try and small talk with strangers. I've been trying to set up play dates with safe families and that has been taxing enough.

One of the things I'm going to have to contact my ex best in about is 2 books she still has that are mine. They are my body safety books that I let her borrow back in Dec. The detective was supposed to get them for me but never did and I know he's really busy because he just completed an arrest of an online perp he'd been following that was shared with the community via email. Any suggestions on how to do this? Call, email, text or note? Should I have her leave them at my house, the local church, outside her house? One of them is special because it was mine from childhood...they don't make coloring books like they used to! ;)

Bonnieboo,
My children, but especially my 2nd son, went through extreme anxiety with our house and also the local church. Your daughter might not be ready for a while but I would talk to her therapist about exposure therapy. It took my son a couple weeks to not have extreme, overwhelming reactions to our home and over 6 months to set foot on the property of the church again. (Both places he'd been abused by monster boy.) However, we slowly worked towards our goal, specifically playing at the church park again (obviously he couldn't move out of the home) and he is so much happier that he can now relate positive memories to those locationsame instead of focusing on just the abuse! He feels a sense of freedom and control over his world where as before, the monster controlled even where he went to play. His therapist and I have praised him like crazy and now there's no issue with either place. The memories aren't gone but they no longer define the property! He understands he is now safe, even though monster boy still goes to the church, we never see him and he knows he can't be hurt again. If you want to know how he spefically reacted, I'll share.

Know to that when YOU block someone from facebook, that takes away your ability to look for them or see anything they have posted - so she probably didn't block you, it was because you blocked her. I have unfriended and blocked many people in conjunction with our abuse from facebook, pinterest and my instagram is private and blocked to these people as well as on my son's account (and will do the same when my daughter has an account).

Thank-you Mobley4100 for pointing that out. I just went to re-check Facebook and I have NOT blocked her...yet. So SHE blocked me...I'm sure it's because she got an email saying I unfriended her or maybe because CPS showed up again and she now knows that I'm to blame. Whatever the reason, it's just final. Our friendship needs a funeral...9 years down the toilet ending in destruction of the worst kind! Moving on...