A year ago on Feb 17th my daughters molester, my father, was sentenced to 80+ years for the sexual abuse he inflicted on my daughters. Well, since the time of Jan 17th, 2013 when the truth was finally brought to light until now, my husband has been blaming me for what my father did to our daughters. He has also said horrible things about me to my children trying to get them to turn against me also. I don't know what to do, divorce is on the horizon right now and I see no other fix.

Approximately 1 year after the disclosure was made I finally had a mental breakdown. For that year I was only sleeping anywhere from 5 - 20 hrs a week, I dropped from 125 lbs down to 104 lbs and looked like a skeleton, from lack of being able to eat, hallucinations, nightmares, night terrors(when I slept). And the week that I could feel everything building up badly, my husband decided to sit my children down and tell them how lazy, worthless, unwanted, unneeded and unloved I was, to which my daughter said to me, and not informing me what he said, screaming these words at me followed by her telling me to LEAVE, when I confronted my husband sitting at the table badmouthing me to my daughter. Things that night went from bad to worse then and I ended up staying at an Uncle's house, that I found out was just as unstable as the home I just left. So I still had no support, in fact the uncle expected me to not only take total care of him, but also his wife that had H1N1 swine flu at the time. I had NO TIME to take care of myself or get my thoughts in order, and my husband, because I'm a stay at home parent, told me all the money was his because he was the only one who earned it. I was away from the home for 63 days and during that time my husband only spoke to me 3 times on the phone all in 2 day time period and only sent approx 10 texts and all but 2 of those were also in a 24 hr time period. I texted and called my children also during this time, but they didn't usually respond.

And the night that everything went south my husband tried to have me arrested and thrown in jail, there was not one bit of help, care or compassion from him.  Yet he was going to all my friends and telling them that he was so worried about me and he was doing everything he could think of for me. Not once did he call a doctor or a counselor, our pastor or his friend that is a retired "shrink" for this very issue, who had informed him she would help if we needed. Yet nothing just him constantly telling me i wasnt doing enough for him and whenever i asked him to help me or talk to me he always told me he had more important things to take care of and would leave. He would work for more than 14 hours a day and when he got home he would ignore me or accuse me of being lazy and worthless. Now he wasn't helping me deal with the police, prosecutors office, or our childrens feelings. And just note that there was no money for insurance so that I could get some help, but this year he has a tummy issue so now there is all the money in the world for insurance.

Once i moved back home, nothing was the same, I was made to feel like an outsider. We went to counseling in 2015 for our daughters and i thought for ourselves. My husband however would go into counseling and tell the counselor all the things she wanted to hear with me saying that's not true, that's not true, you did/didn't do or say that. And sure enough once we would get in the car and get about 3-4 minutes away my husband would then tell me that "yeah i was right, what he had said in counseling wasn't true." Then when we would go back he would either not go with me or lie some more. The counselor asked my husband to come in for some one on one, because my husband came from a very disfunctional family, but he refused to go, then blamed me for that also.

It's bad enough that my mother, brothers, sister (who is a victim of this monster also and her daughter), neice, Uncles and aunts and worst, my oldest son, turned their backs on me and my other 3 children, but my husband and children also turned on me???!!!  I'm so hurt and so sick and tired of being blamed for what this monster did to these females (8 victims found so far). The blame towards me was so bad that during the sentencing of this monster the judge even commented to the monster and his wife (both my biological parents), that she had NEVER seen a defendant and his wife blame their own child for what happened like she had seen in this case.  I did what I had told EVERYBODY i would do if I ever caught ANYONE touching or hurting my children, so what I did was no big surprise, but i certainly never realized that saving my children would cause such pain and hurt and blame for me.

So now my 21 year marriage is going to end because I protected my children which is what I said i would do from the day i found out they existed. Why my husband would want to do this to his children, I just can't understand, my daughters are going to really need me when it comes time for them to get married and have children and all the other things that daughters need their mothers for, but if my husband doesn't stop he's going to ruin that for them. I'm trying not to sink to his level, because he's got lots of secrets that my children know nothing about and I'd like to keep it that way because I never wanted my children to think badly of their father. But I'm reaching a point of treat others the way you want to be treated, and I have a horrible temper and am one of the most vengeful people i know but I've yet to sink to his level. He is allowing this monster to continue to destroy and take from us!!! UUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!! Wish i knew what to do. Anybody got any helpful advice????????