The cool thing is they are bound by confidentiality rules so it is a safe place to talk freely. I just saw my first one this week and got a great vibe from her. We are all not naive about the world anymore so I trust my gut when I say I see this helping. There are things from my past that I am going to be working on with her. Originally I only went for some sound advice on how to parent a sexually abused child but before the hour was over it was evident that in order to be fully rounded and be able to help my boys I have to fix my issues first and foremost so I can be the mom that my boys so need and want. I wouldn't say I felt better, it was only the first session anyways, but for me I think I may have found the release I so desperately need and have needed for many months since my boys disclosure. As for the illegal drugs...lmao and I wish there was a special little pill to put me on auto pilot mode for the next few years and still be functional...not gonna happen lol. Seriously though, find a person you can connect with and respect as well as trust and get it out of you. Can you imagine going on living like this, especially once the kids really need to get it out of them and it is put on you, how much can a person really take on if they are already feeling broken and exhausted?

Hey Jennifermom - I'm actually going to the same therapist that my daughter is. If you like the one that the girls have and they work with adults, it might be a good fit. I find that it actually makes it pretty easy for me, since she already knows everything that's going on with my daughter.

Otherwise - if you like/trust their therapist, you might ask for a recommendation to someone else from them. I had a list from our rape crisis center that had therapists who work with state victim's assistance fund. I looked over that list and looked up those that I could find and chose one that way. We were fortunate that we found someone great! :)

Personally, I would look for someone who deals with this nature of trauma in kids if you're flying blind to find one - you want to be sure that they are well versed in what you're dealing with.

Just my 2 cents here, but I personally do feel that you need to be totally open with a therapist. That's just me. Because we can't ever truly look at our lives from a 3rd person perspective (which is why even therapists don't self-diagnose - or shouldn't anyway) we never know what thing in the past might be hindering our healing.

Just like Jennyandboys, I've found that there were things in my past that were causing me to have reactions or stressors that I didn't like. It's kind of like clearing out the cobwebs. I also think that they can tell when you're holding back. They aren't able to do their jobs to the best of their ability if they don't have all the cards.

Like Jennyandboys said - it's such a safe place and the right person will be able to make you comfortable - but (this is just what I know my therapist would say to me) if there are things that you don't feel you can discuss with anyone - sometimes those are things we really do need to talk about (does that make sense?)

I had several things like that - abuse in my past, my mother's depression, codependency and suicide attempt that I've gotten to so much better of a place with. And ONLY my therapist knows the full details. My husband knows roughly what happened with my abuse, but doesn't know the details. And now that I'm on the other side of my therapists help with it, it seems really odd that it took me so long to be able to deal with it in this way.

Anywho - that's just my experience, and it may well not be necessary in yours - I'd find a likely candidate and let them know that there are some things that you aren't at a point you want to discuss - usually they're very respectful of that. If it changes for you at some point - then they're the safe place you can discuss them. If they feel it's something that is somehow tied to your healing or important, they will let you know. If not, you can work on the other stuff!!

HUGS to you and I think it's so awesome that you're ready to get some support for YOU! It sounds like you could use it with all you have on your plate!

You might have to try different therapists before you find one you really connect with. They are bound by confidentiality rules however, if the court requests your records they will have to hand your records over. Don't let that stop you from getting help though. Good luck!

For us, I called cps, foc, and victims places and got a list...when I saw the same name over and over..that was our therapist..and my children and I LOVE her! (although he's trying to get her fired because she has discovered all of this)

For me..we moved, we were run from our home, stalking and breaking in and trying to kidnap was enough for me...I am NOT in a safe county..although, it's a rich county (governor just around the corner!...going to knock on his door shortly) I don't live in the "hood" like area or white trash or any of that..but it took them 45 mins. TWICE when the panic button was hit..and there are 3-4 police stations within 20 mins driving the speed limit...ugh.

For myself, I chose not to go to the same therapist for many reasons, what I say may be used against me..unknowingly, I'm an injured person and I know that. This has hurt me just as much, if not more, than them. So I called EVERYONE in the phone book...told them the story in brief and the one I chose is the one that, on the phone, was the most helpful and I felt comfortable with. If you have to go through the secretaries..then what is the point?!?!?

Therapists are like lawyers, they want the job they WILL call you..I had many..told them my story, prayed about it..and made my decision...now my children go there too and to their original therapist...as she offers services that the original isn't trained to do. They all have their pros and cons. Sit down, decide who you need and what you need..I needed a caring older person that understood what parents, like us, are going through. She's actually a child therapist..but HATES court...the children are seeing someone that has been to court for over 500 cases..she told me she was going to transfer us..until she met with the kids :) She is against the bad guys.
I hope this helps a bit. I know it's hard, but you need help too. And, it's just so expensive!

I read where you had commented that you still hadn't gotten counseling for yourself. You should definitely do that it will help you. It is harder so my doctor and counselor have told me for the adults to heal because we look at sexual acts differently than a child does. Its hard for us to let it go and move on. Yes you may need medication, personally I did or I couldn't make it thru the day or sleep at nite. I go from anger to tears. And its very hard. But the medicine does help me. Never thought I'd have to turn to medicine but it has kept me from letting my anger overcome me and seek revenge to the person that has done this to my kids. But I am going the legal route and god is helping me along. I sat under our apple trees the morning after we did the police report crying and praying to god because I wanted to hurt the person that had done this to my kids, but I knew I couldn't because I would go to jail and my kids need me. A social worker pulled in my driveway I truly feel god sent her because we had no idea she was coming it was on a Sunday. She cried and helped me through everything. And 2days after the person that did this to my kids was in ICU her heart stopped, she has recovered though I believe god was teaching her a lesson. He sees everything. He sent the social worker there to keep me from getting into my car and going to get my own revenge and he made her suffer.

Oh and if your looking for an over the counter medicine solution. You can find Melatonin in any healthfood or vitamin store can take during the day to relax you or 2 at nite (depends what strenght they are follow bottle directions) to help you sleep. No prescription needed and they do help.