Hi there and welcome to the group xx its so hard when we blame ourselves for what has happened to our children or for not protecting them. It's so hard not to feel guilty and even though we know logically we aren't our hearts don't let us believe it.
I'm glad your daughter has been getting help and I hope you are too I've found its such a help in the why questions.
I'm still on the start of my journey in this, I'm three months to be exact and it hurts like hell but there's a light at the end of the tunnel even though at the moment it's a pin prick size and flickering.
Take care xx xx

I am working in finding someone myself. I am only on a month and a half myself of knowing....It's so unbelievable. I think what is even harder is trying not to let the other girls see me upset until we can get to a point where we can talk to them about it once school is over.

I'm so sorry about what has happened in your family. I understand the agony of waiting for that "right time" to share such awful news. For almost three years, I maintained the pretense with my elderly mom that we were doing fine, because she lived so far from us at the time, and I knew she'd worry nonstop no matter how I told her. We moved closer a couple of years ago, and I finally told her. She was instantly supportive, and was sorry I suffered so much without her support, but I am glad that she was free to enjoy her life for those intervening years. Your other children will have good memories of the days ahead., and I understand how much that means to you. Your eldest is okay about your sharing this info, I hope.

Welcome,our guilt is one of the hardest things to come to terms with.Not to add to your distress but you say you have 4girls,the others were not abused?I ask because if another member here,she thought it was just one child and in fact it was more.I'm not trying to add to your distress,but please make sure.Great that your daughter is in therapy.You will go through many feelings,all normal.Be kind to yourself

The early days were the absolute hardest once the initial shock wears off! I wish I would have had people to help me through the early days, so listen to these experienced women and absorb as much as possible. Your children most likely already know something is up. It just isn't possible to hide those kind of feelings. I know for me, I wasn't eating, drinking, sleeping or showering. It took every ounce of strength just to swallow water throughout the day. I was like a zombie and my kids knew something was very wrong. They were much younger than yours but they knew something was up.
I wish I would've checked in with my family doctor right away. I waited way too long and my depression was so out of control that I was thinking about suicide. So please reach out to some kind of professional while you are waiting to get into therapy! Don't go through this alone, find people to talk to and who can support you.

Momof2b,you sound like you are doing better,glad to hear that.i agree they probably sense something,kids are very intuitive.

We are not sure if it happened to the 18 year old....we are waiting to talk to her until after her exams. He was not around my 2 younger ones so we are pretty confidant they are fine but will still talk to them soon once school is over in June. We don't want to add any stress to their schooling. I def get the not eating and sleeping because I def went through that and sometimes still do. Thankfully I am already on depression medication so that part for me is under control. It's just that lost feeling that is so hard....I am so thankful to have found this group to talk with people who know how I feel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!