Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
We just got the phone call from the sheriff's department and he is in custody!! This week has been so overwhelming and emotional!! This has been the longest 6 days of my life!! Thank God they finally got him!! In addition to my daughter's statement and exam, there were hundreds of texts from his phone where he had been texting her on her kindle!! I hope that is enough that this does not have to go to trial, but I really don't know. Does anyone have any idea of what the next step is? The investigator told me that he should not be able to get bail, but if he did, he could not come home because of how close it is to my house. So, that is good news.
My poor, sweet girl has been through so much this week. She had her interview with the forensic investigator, then had a SANE (some sort of sexual assault exam) but they did not check her for std's or pregnancy or anything like that so, I took her to my ob/gyn where a nurse practitioner that I LOVE examined her and talked to her and told her that she had this happen to her by her grandmother's husband!! When her sister told her grandmother that he did it to her, the grandmother told her that little girls that lie go to the devil!! OMG!! So, nothing was ever done to her abuser!! She assured my daughter that none of this was her fault and that she was beautiful, smart, special and precious!! She was so kind and gentle with her!! I am so grateful for that!! On top of all of this, my 12-year-old daughter has cysts on her ovary!! My poor baby!! They did a thorough exam and even did an ultra sound on her tummy since she had some abdominal pain. That is how they found the cyst. She will take medicine for 3 months for that to see if it helps and then get checked again.
On a different note, I need to vent a minute... When I took my daughter for the SANE, I told my daughter that I knew this was not going to be pleasant and I was sorry that she was going through this. The investigator said, "Well, that's the price you pay"!! WTF??? She did not do this!! A 63-year-old man molested her while holding a gun on her and then his 29-year-old son manipulated her and made her think that he loved her and took advantage of a child!! I wanted to punch that woman in the head!! My friend told me that I should report her for that!! It is not my baby's fault!! UGH!! That made me so mad!! I tell her over and over that none of this is her fault and I did not need that woman telling her that, making her feel like she did something wrong!! Again, UGH!!!!!!! Forevermore!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!
My poor, sweet girl has been through so much this week. She had her interview with the forensic investigator, then had a SANE (some sort of sexual assault exam) but they did not check her for std's or pregnancy or anything like that so, I took her to my ob/gyn where a nurse practitioner that I LOVE examined her and talked to her and told her that she had this happen to her by her grandmother's husband!! When her sister told her grandmother that he did it to her, the grandmother told her that little girls that lie go to the devil!! OMG!! So, nothing was ever done to her abuser!! She assured my daughter that none of this was her fault and that she was beautiful, smart, special and precious!! She was so kind and gentle with her!! I am so grateful for that!! On top of all of this, my 12-year-old daughter has cysts on her ovary!! My poor baby!! They did a thorough exam and even did an ultra sound on her tummy since she had some abdominal pain. That is how they found the cyst. She will take medicine for 3 months for that to see if it helps and then get checked again.
On a different note, I need to vent a minute... When I took my daughter for the SANE, I told my daughter that I knew this was not going to be pleasant and I was sorry that she was going through this. The investigator said, "Well, that's the price you pay"!! WTF??? She did not do this!! A 63-year-old man molested her while holding a gun on her and then his 29-year-old son manipulated her and made her think that he loved her and took advantage of a child!! I wanted to punch that woman in the head!! My friend told me that I should report her for that!! It is not my baby's fault!! UGH!! That made me so mad!! I tell her over and over that none of this is her fault and I did not need that woman telling her that, making her feel like she did something wrong!! Again, UGH!!!!!!! Forevermore!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!
"The price you have to pay?!?!"
How about the price YOU have to pay for that comment BITCH is your license?!?!
May your family have peace and rest tonight safe in your own beds in your own home now that he is gone.
Can you put in a formal complaint about the investigator? Seriously, if that is their attitude to people they deal with day in and day out they need to find another job. No need to add fuel to the fire. Are they so desensitised to what they are doing? Sad and unbelievable.
Hugs and sleep well.
96%, just to clarify, it was the investigator that said that to my daughter. The nurse that did the SANE was very nice to her and wanted to hunt him down herself!! They arrested him on his way home from work... before he ever got next door. The perp worked for a friend's husband and I just happened to see her while shopping (we were trying to kill time away from home) I asked her to text her husband and ask if he was still at work. He said that he was and I was fuming!! I knew I could not take being here while he was free another day!! We headed home and about 3:15, I was pulling off of the interstate onto the exit that we live on and I saw a sheriff's car sitting there. I stopped and asked him if he knew when the arrest was going to take place and he told me that he was waiting on him to get him on his way home from work. They did not want to arrest him at home with us being right next door. (My daughter was suppose to stay with someone until he was in custody, but it seems that people want to talk about helping more than they actually do) Anyways, they didn't want to arrest him at home due to the fact that we live here. So, they caught him in between work and home. The sheriff then went next door to tell the mother about his arrest. They also called us to verify when they had him in custody.
As much as his mother has ignored us and given us the cold shoulder, I do truly feel for her!! Her husband killed himself last month after doing horrible things to little girls and now her son has been arrested for the same thing!! OMG!! I imagine she feels as if she is in hell!! I just pray to God that she did not know. If she did, she can go to HELL with the rest of them!!
I am exhausted and overwhelmed with emotions!! I need to be like you, Cathymathy, and keep my feelings from seeping through to my daughter. She has enough of her own and I need to be there to help her sort through hers. I feel the same way as you, if she is happy, I know I can be okay, too!!
I reported a particularly mouthy investigator to his superior and got an immediate call back from his supervisor-so you can at least unload on the supervisor.
I am sending you prayers for you and your family.
PS-you are such a compassionate person to feel for the mom but you cannot help her. I get it, I felt immense worry for my mom but I could not help her. If you must, pray for her. You my sister, have your own worries.
I'm so sorry your daughter is so confused.
She has a wonderful mom for an example to help lead her into the right direction.
I wish our perp to get caught in the act sooo bad, and fear all at the same time the same reaction your daughter is experiencing.
It's twisted and awful.
Hugs to you and yours
96%, thank you so much for your compassion and support!! I pray that the POS doing this to your baby gets caught and your baby can get justice!! It is awful and sad when the justice system fails us!! Please know that my prayers are with you!! I am so sorry for what you are having to endure!!