So, we chose to try to take the non-confrontational route with my dad by simply ignoring all phone-calls and texts, not making any plans with him. My mom, the only other native to the area, had already shared that she'd be out of town and even with us ignoring my dad, hoping he would not travel 2 hours South of where he visited, he still showed up at my house today. That means he's going to be looking for us the rest of today.

Luckily, my husband had taken the other kids and our car was gone. My oldest and I retreated fast enough that nobody saw us...I think. And it started pouring rain, so they decided to finally leave. He even tried to manipulate by sending only my little half sister to the door! It's just cruel that he won't take a hint! So, now, we prepare for the dreaded "you are no longer welcome in our life" talk with him that we had been trying to put off until we were emotionally stronger.

I'm pretty sure that after that talk I'll be taking out a restraining order against him, changing my phone number, asking my family to please block his crazy emails, etc. We really didn't want to do this now...but he's forcing our hand by showing up uninvited.

Buying a gun is a huge responsibility, and liability, for parents. From your children's own experience, you've seen exactly how destructive this decision can be. I am glad you've stressed gun safety with your kids. I would urge you to review the following guidelines, written by fellow gun owners, to be sure you've thoroughly prepped your children and your home environment to ensure the safety of your family:

http://www.projectchildsafe.org/news/ten-tips-firearm-safety-your-home

A few more points to consider:
• Even children who "know the rules" make mistakes.
• Kids with a history of trauma are even less able to discern correct behavior, especially if they are figuratively triggered. (My adult daughter still “overreacts” and naively puts herself in potentially dangerous situations.)
• The odds of someone being killed by accidental gunfire in your home are now much higher than they were before that purchase.
• Suicide rates are higher in homes with guns.
• Interviews with those who have survived suicide attempts by any method reveal that most attempts were impulsive, with little forethought.
• Any suicidal ideation that leads to acting out results in a greater "success" rate when a gun is used; there’s no chance to undo the damage from a “fatal dose” of bullets.

If you have any reason to suspect that your children are still suffering from PTSD, these are serious considerations.

You have a right to make the decision you have made, and you needn’t respond. I just know how it feels to realize too late that I’ve allowed a monster into my home. First there was the Nazi who raped my daughter. Then, almost four years ago, I knew immediately that I had brought a monster home when I experienced the nightmare of having to administer painkillers to my daughter; surgeons had prescribed them after her car accident, knowing they would lead to re-addiction, but the doctors all said they were "ethically" required to treat pain. I will never again buy anything for my daughter that she might use to kill herself just because it might make her feel "better." I've been reading research on gun safety for almost 40 years. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't express my concerns here.

Thank you Naive1.2 for speaking your heart. I understand where you're coming from but I do think that it has all worked out positively in out situation! Nobody is suicidal anymore and our kid's emotions, while they still have PTSD, have regulated to a more "normal" style. My husband is a very responsible gun owner and never has the gun out of his sight, let alone unlocked/usable unless he's using it at the range or cleaning it unloaded. He does not keep it loaded. There is no fear in any of our persons in regards to bringing a gun in the home. And considering that monster family STILL socializes within a minutes drive from out home on a tri-weekly basis, I believe my husband's concern for our family safety is valid.

In regards to my dad...if anyone was reading those updates...he came by my house AGAIN in the evening, pounding on the door aggressively and left a gift card to our local grocery store to "*my name* and the kids" (not my husband which he still hasn't respected/acknowledged in the 20 years we've been together) along with a manipulative note of "just wanted to get some ice cream with you guys." Then he followed up THAT with a few picture texts of him, my half sister and my siblings, trying to get me to respond. Sounds all nice BUT he literally came to our area, booked a hotel, came by our home 2x in the pouring rain and sent me 6 texts in 1 day (only 2 in the whOle year prior to that) ALL with the knowledge that my mom wasn't in town and our family had not responded AT ALL to his inquiries of being available! That is stalking-type behavior.

Luckily, now we have the time to really think through what we say and the repercussions of saying it to him before we do. We have kept the control. This is how you have to deal with a sociopathic narcissistic father! If any of you have family like this, I hope this will encourage you to do what you have to to protect your family's healing!