I'm so sorry!! I have no insights about the legal aspect -- our perp was never charged -- but I wanted to welcome you and let you know you'd been heard.

Much appreciated, naive1.2. I'm sorry to hear the offender walked free--I cannot let that happen, or I'll end up in prison. I need to figure out how to crucify this worthless piece of garbage, so any legal advice from anyone would be helpful!

My daughter's abuser(her cousin) also lived in a different state,In fact the abuse took place in that state.we live in another state,that's 3states we are dealing with.We had to report in the state where the abuse happened.Chappened.Call a child advocacy agency,preferably in the state where the report was given.They have lawyers on staff,therapists,ect.They will be your liason free of charge.it will take time,a lot of time for the case to be resolved,to keep busy read,learn,read,learn,get into therapy,a good therapist,recommended by the advocacy agency.Call the detective for updates but stay calm and polite.Tell your child everyday how brave she is and that you believe every word she says,do you have family on your side?

Btw you are in shock right now,I read your other post about zoning out,it's normal,you will look back in a few months and realize you were in a fog.

You're in a protective fog. Your brain won't -- can't -- let you feel all of your emotions to their fullest. You will work through them over time.

Breathe in for four to eight counts through your mouth. Hold for eight counts, focusing only on your breath, and then exhale through your nose for eight counts. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Breathing is surviving, and you will survive this one second at a time.

I'm so sorry for all you are going thru but glad you're here. I saw your other post on another thread. The mosac website naive suggested is great, very extensive, and the suggestion to call a child advocacy center is also spot on, even one in your area should be able to help you get set up with one wherever you/your child need be assessed. You can also call a women's support/domestic violence agency and talk with them for resources--referrals, free counseling, legal advocacy, etc. Hang in there, you're doing the right things, it will take a while to be able to function like you were, but that's okay. I'm so glad your precious little one told and didn't keep the secret, good for her! Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers...

i would get her help , she will need it anyway, you are doing the right thing, sad to say these creeps dont get much prison time, at least in my case, just keep being a good mom to her that is all you can do , i had to use legal aide, so keep that in mind, they should be able to direct you as to what to do since it was in a different state, i hope you will be ok, this is a rough road ahead , keep your head up and fight ! hugs

Thank you all. The mosac site is very helpful--I've barely scratched the surface. I will find a child advocacy group today, and give them a call. It's been three days since the police received the report and I've left a message, and heard nothing. I'm trying to be patient , but it's hard. It's so strange to me that this massive dark cloud is lurking over my head, and in my ever thought, but I have to go about my business as usual--I want the process to be as imperceptible to my kids as possible--to limit the disruption so it doesn't become their focus. I've heard mixed reviews as to whether or not to seek counseling before the forensic interview, but I can ask the advocates about that I suppose. I feel like this is way too slow and every moment he has is being used to delete whatever is on his computer, and drum up a defense for himself--plenty of time because the loser lives with my parents and has never had a job. Thank you all for the advice, as well as the encouragement. I still have to remind myself every day that this is real... I wish to god it wasn't.

Oh, and hopefulmama, I have some family on my side, some think my daughter has an overactive imagination, and some who've completely taken his side and written me off--my mother is doing everything in her power to defend him and discredit us. She is and always will be a disaster, an addict, and a turd in general. She not only stayed in contact with, never prosecuted, and never even addressed her brother's abuse of two of my siblings and an attempt with me, but she continued to invite him to family functions where we--and other children were. She's a disgusting person and I've had to resolve to keep her out of my family's life permanently, which is hard to explain to my kids. My family is so fractured I don't think it can ever recover, but you know what? I could care less--my priority is my daughter. Everything else is a vague shadow in my periphery.

I'm glad you have accepted that early,it took me awhile to cut out toxic family.Rhe advocacy will guide you in every step.no child has that kind of imagination,none.Take whatever support you can take and to hell with the others.You will be a hero to your child and someday they will thank you for staying up for them.

I am going through similar thing right now. My son and I interviewed last Wednesday. I was hoping the dectective would have called me Friday with a update.

Agreed--to hell with them. Toxic is a good word for people like that. Helpme2017 I'm sorry... I can relate. I haven't even been called back after the report being filed six days ago to have a detective assigned to the case. I call daily, nothing. No one seems terribly concerned about the violent pedophile free to roam the streets with access to other children. How was the forensic interview? What did it entail? How did your son handle it? I'm mortified about my daughter having to share the details with a complete stranger... she had a hard time telling me.

Good Evening! First of all I'm so sorry that this happened to your child and that your family is going through this. I'm Marisela, I work as one of the Victim Advocates for the Prosecutors Office in IN. Many of the cases I work on are child molest cases. Not only do I know all about the legal process when it comes to these cases but have also experienced it firsthand with my 6 year old son. Unfortunately in our situation there was never a criminal case opened due to my son not disclosing during the Forensic Interview. In these type of cases you will NOT need a lawyer unless you are seeking restitution (money), which in that case it would go through a civil case not criminal. You can start therapy right now, this will not affect any future case or your child forensic interview. If additional information is disclosed by your child during therapy, the therapist would contact DCS or the detective assigned to the case to inform them. This case would happen wherever the sexual abuse occurred, that state would have jurisdiction.

I was also scared of the interview as well. My son just made three in June. However they are trained to deal with kids. My son did very well and I was proud of him. The investigator let me know we have to prove our case. However she did make me feel like she going to work hard for my son and me. For me the perp was my 28 year old cousin, who I grew up with like a brother. Many of my family members are not speaking with me. I don't care, I feel like I failed my son once. So if they don't believe my son then I don't need them in our lives. Kids are strong. I took my son to see a therapist right after disclosure. So he meet the therapist first then the forensics interview. My son disclosed in the interview that he had told my aunt ( my cousin mom, who was supposed to keep my son while I am at work). I am worried about everything, sad and angry. I want my cousin in jail and to be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life. I am praying for you and your daughter.

Thank you for the advice Marisela. I'm not seeking restitution, but I am looking to maximize the criminal penalty--I wish the death penalty was an option. I'm sorry to hear about your son... can't imagine the frustration. Helpme2017 I'm happy to hear it's not as daunting as I feel it will be, and I think my daughter will do well in a comfortable environment. As far as the nonbelievers, and feeling that you failed your child already: I could not have said it better myself. I wish you luck with everything, and keep me posted please... you're a few paces ahead of me and it's nice to know what's forthcoming.