Hugs to you, but please know you can choose who to have a relationship with. If it is going to upset you, remove yourself from the situation. Does your sister-in-law know how mad you are about the situation? I am just confused about how you can continue to have such a close relationship to her when she is one of the reasons you are upset. Obviously they are talking about the situation themselves. Again, you have to do what is best for your and your daughter - and if being around your mother-in-law, and having her talk about you to your sister-in-law is going to upset you - remove yourself from the situation. I wouldn't say it is your Christian duty to be pleasant, it may be your Christian duty to let His light shine through you, but that does not mean you have so abuse yourself. I have not seen my sister, nor been in the same room with her since January - and doubt I ever will, but you know what - I am moving on and healing myself. In fact, very soon I will no longer live near her, and I can tell you driving that moving truck out of town will life a huge burden off of my shoulders. If you intend to keep a relationship with your mother-in-law, you both need to sit down and have a hard, honest conversation. If you don't feel like she is capable of that, or that she will continue to add drama - cut her out of your life. Your husband can certainly still have a relationship with her, but if makes you or your daughter uncomfortable - move on without her. Boundaries are yours to set.

I agree it is hard to understand how I can have a relationship with her, probably because she is supportive, not in denial.Her son admitted to everything,she has shown concern for my daughter, and it was her idea of not coming to the family wedding coming up.Compared to my mother in law who does not understand why my daughter wont come to her house,said to me "Oh it was only sexual harassment" and wanted to sit down and find a way for us all to be together again, so we could all attend the wedding.My sister in law tried to send us money to help with the counseling expense and has agreed to take him to counseling.And thinks our mother in law is wrong

By all means, if you feel comfortable with the relationship and she is so supportive, keep it. That is not the case in my situation. But, if your mother-in-law is going to cause strife, distance yourself. And if she thinks your mother-in-law is wrong, she should stand up for you and support you to her. You aren't going to change your mother-in-law's thinking. Maybe a therapy session with you and your MIL would help? I had to do that with my MIL to address our child not having any contact (by mail, phone or in person) with her son who was serving time for child porn (long before this situation happened). Our relationship changed the past few years when I set up my boundaries and clearly stated what would and would not be tolerated. I explained to her, and to my brother-in-law why I would no longer allow contact with my son, and my reasons. They both did not, and still do not understand - but the respect my wishes and life goes on. Our relationship is very different, but it is okay, and I have my boundaries that she knows not to cross. She knows that I am going to be honest with her - so if she doesn't want to know what I have to say, she doesn't ask. I am probably one of the few people who has stood up to her, but I had to do what was best for my child - not anyone else.

As you become more wise, you will have less time in your life to allow ignorant drama.
Everything has its way of working out.
There are new dynamics placed onto all your relationships because of this abuse.
The people on here are lending good insight.
But you have to arrive on your same conclusion on your own terms.
In your heart you need to know you gave important people a chance before you choose distance.
At some point tho, all these ups and downs back n forth hopes and let downs will get old. When this happens, you will find yourself settling into a point of stability - a distance at which you can safely regard these people you mention and not be riding an emotional roller coaster anymore. When you reach your stable point, you will have peace - peace in knowing you tried and peace that the roller coaster is over.

Good luck mama!

Removing yourself from these situations is more imporrant than keeping up with family traditions. There comes a time when you will question your motives for telling anyone about what has happened. We have a tendency to overshare for obvious reasins and it helps relieve our own burden. There are times and places to do this and they must be considered thoughtfully. It is about the children first and foremost and them healing. Less drama is better for them. Please keep that in mind when you feel angry.