Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
"This feels like the Twilight Zone".....<------that thought has popped into my head over a few dozen times since we found our our 4yr old was attacked by someone we don't even know. I feel like it's just my daughter and myself who fully, 100% believe this happened, and I am the only one personally fighting to get her justice.
This is not how this is supposed to go. :-( When a child says things so explicit of what a person did to her in this heinous way....the police are supposed to search until they find the perp. That's what I thought anyway. Our 4yr old was very specific where the incidents took place, but she said it was a different person than it was. After months, she revealed that she was too scared to say who really did the horrible things. She was just trying to get out of going to that person's house. The police and CPS *did* investigate the initial person, who fully cooperated (and I sent that person a very sincere apology). But the police know what happened afterward...that I showed my daughter a photo of the person's boyfriend and my daughter's who demeanor changed. It was definitely the boyfriend. But the boyfriend made minimal statements to police, and basically told them not to contact him again. So that's it????? There was no physical evidence. The things this man did to my daughter do not come from a novice....there is no way my child is the only one. And nobody is pursuing this person :-(
I just don't understand how they're not continuing to pursue this :-(
My husband saw how traumatized *I* am from this whole thing, and he feels like we just need to move on and help build our daughter up into a confident young lady. I've felt alone in this fight.
I reached out anonymously to the 2 women who referred me to this woman who watched my kids. One of them basically told me to go "f" myself, and is visibly supporting these people via Facebook. And the other mom never responded.
When a child makes these claims, I thought everyone was supposed to jump on board and find answers. But instead, I feel so shut down. This is not how this was all supposed to go :-(
Sorry for all the :-( faces.....I'm just typing as I go. What if my 4 year old *was* mistaken, and what if I've ruined innocent people's lives? I believe my child. The things she described are things no 4 year old should know. I didn't even know about those things until I was a teenager.
The hospital that did the forensic interview referred us to a PTSD counselor, whom our daughter has been seeing weekly. They wouldn't have referred us if they didn't believe it happened, right? Everybody has been so eff'ing neutral in this whole thing, my mind wants to explode. The police were very kind but haven't specifically said they believe this happened. It seems like their sentences lead me to believe that they know we're telling the truth. Like, I asked, "So do you think _________ has any knowledge of what happened at her house?" His response was, "Well, I didn't! She was very empathetic and emotional for you." And, "I was very disappointed that she refused the polygraph because it could have shown if she knew this happened." See what they did there? Nobody is confirming. The case was closed due to lack of physical evidence. I pray that some other child comes forward, and that no other poor children are attacked by that monster.
This is not how this was supposed to go :-(
This is not how this is supposed to go. :-( When a child says things so explicit of what a person did to her in this heinous way....the police are supposed to search until they find the perp. That's what I thought anyway. Our 4yr old was very specific where the incidents took place, but she said it was a different person than it was. After months, she revealed that she was too scared to say who really did the horrible things. She was just trying to get out of going to that person's house. The police and CPS *did* investigate the initial person, who fully cooperated (and I sent that person a very sincere apology). But the police know what happened afterward...that I showed my daughter a photo of the person's boyfriend and my daughter's who demeanor changed. It was definitely the boyfriend. But the boyfriend made minimal statements to police, and basically told them not to contact him again. So that's it????? There was no physical evidence. The things this man did to my daughter do not come from a novice....there is no way my child is the only one. And nobody is pursuing this person :-(
I just don't understand how they're not continuing to pursue this :-(
My husband saw how traumatized *I* am from this whole thing, and he feels like we just need to move on and help build our daughter up into a confident young lady. I've felt alone in this fight.
I reached out anonymously to the 2 women who referred me to this woman who watched my kids. One of them basically told me to go "f" myself, and is visibly supporting these people via Facebook. And the other mom never responded.
When a child makes these claims, I thought everyone was supposed to jump on board and find answers. But instead, I feel so shut down. This is not how this was all supposed to go :-(
Sorry for all the :-( faces.....I'm just typing as I go. What if my 4 year old *was* mistaken, and what if I've ruined innocent people's lives? I believe my child. The things she described are things no 4 year old should know. I didn't even know about those things until I was a teenager.
The hospital that did the forensic interview referred us to a PTSD counselor, whom our daughter has been seeing weekly. They wouldn't have referred us if they didn't believe it happened, right? Everybody has been so eff'ing neutral in this whole thing, my mind wants to explode. The police were very kind but haven't specifically said they believe this happened. It seems like their sentences lead me to believe that they know we're telling the truth. Like, I asked, "So do you think _________ has any knowledge of what happened at her house?" His response was, "Well, I didn't! She was very empathetic and emotional for you." And, "I was very disappointed that she refused the polygraph because it could have shown if she knew this happened." See what they did there? Nobody is confirming. The case was closed due to lack of physical evidence. I pray that some other child comes forward, and that no other poor children are attacked by that monster.
This is not how this was supposed to go :-(
You'd think police would be on that monster's tail, watching for him to slip! Have you taken this to a higher level -- DA's office? Most DAs have a special victim's unit, which works to solve crimes involving sexual abuse, etc.
And I learned many a thing
- saw a woman pull her car off busy highway to help mom duck n babies to safety. Many people genuinely care to help... Somewhat. There's a limit tho. Same day I saw the ducks, I saw a child being abused in the rain and adult grabbing him by his hair and shaking his head. There were other concerned witnesses watching at the time and I believe they were somewhat worried - but! Not concerned enough when it came time to report and call police. They didn't just fail to report, they bolted to avoid reporting.
Many people do care about others and want to help, only a few care to help once their back is on the line for assisting you.
You aren't going to get a single person to help you unless there exists undeniable evidence. They all know there's no physical evidence - that's rare. That's child abuses 101 knowledge. But what they're saying to you with that sentence is ma'am I'm not gonna get involved and risk my license and my ability to put food on my table for you and your children with evidence that is merely he said she said.
Perpetrators are ugly nasty evil monsters. If you shoot and miss, you will be destroyed. They have such immense anger inside that you never saw before until you go and test them yourself.
Only 3% of perps get caught.
Not many want to look the beast in the eye.