Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Ok so don't know how to start all this, especially as I never thought I would be writing something like this. My Daughter 4, recently disclosed to my wife that she was inappropriately touched by my brother, my baby's uncle. We went straight to the emergency room and now their is an on going investigation, we are now 3 days in.
My baby day by day since she has first disclosed has gotten stronger and has disclosed even more to her mommy and me, she has also told us that she feels safe and free now and that she is happy she won't have to see him again.
I have just felt so many different things, anger, heartbreak, at sometimes I feel just shocked and numb or just overwhelmed with everything that I don't know what I'm feeling. We come from a super close family and this person was my complete best friend and I would talk with them 4-5 times a day.
My wife and I are trying to stay strong for her and also strong for her Brother 7, as he was his uncles number one fan and best bud.
we don't have really any family or friends close to us and we just need advice on just how to keep strong and how not to lose ourselves in the emotions so we can be there for our babies.
We know this is a long road to recovery and we are going to do everything in our power to help our baby heal and recover.
any and all advice is welcomed.
Welcome to this board. Glad you found it but so sorry you had to. Unfortunately this board is fairly quiet so hang in there as I know people check in every now and again.
My situation is different from yours, so I’m not sure how much advise I can offer based on your situation. My situation dealt with sibling sexual abuse, so in that regards I know how shocking it can be for you to find out someone you love that is a member of your family hurt another in your family. It is absolutely devastating and you’re not sure the next steps. For our family, my son was charged and did go to juvie for his sentence. It undoubtedly was the hardest most painful thing I’ve ever had to deal with.
I would recommend getting your daughter into counseling ASAP if you haven’t already. I’ve read lots on this site as well as another support group I am in that relates directly with sibling abuse that there is some play, drawing counseling that they do with younger children although I am unfamiliar with that as my kids were 18 and 15.
I would very strongly recommend to you for you and your wife to get yourselves some counseling as well. There will be a lot of emotions that you are going to need to deal with and this will help.
For myself and my husband, it was difficult as we needed to deal with defence lawyers as well as prosecutors first hand. I needed to support both of my kids. It is not a place I’d wish on my worst enemy. Just know that reporting this was the first step you did and for that I’m very proud of you. Your responsibility is to your children in keeping them safe and you’ve done that now. Stay strong with your wife, as there will be some challenging times ahead. I hope that over the next while there will be more responses to your post that will have advise and support for you in regards to relating more with your situation. I just did not want you to think no one cared to bother posting back. Again it’s a fairly slow group. Take care and stay strong for your family. It’s a terrible place to be in. Wishing you all the best.
I am also deeply sorry that this has happened to your family. Please note that, as llama said, it is equally a priority that your daughter AND you parents receive counseling. You've all been manipulated by a person you fully trusted, and this, in addition to the actual details of the abuse, has lasting impacts you must untangle to move forward. The best thing you can do for your daughter is to show her what serious, appropriate self-care looks like.
mosac.net (good for any parent of a child who as abused)
1in6.org (for males who have been sexually abused)--I truly hope your 7 year old was not also abused but you'll have to keep the door open for him to be able to talk about it if he was.
At some point you should be connected with a Child Advocacy Center--if not here is how you can find the closest one: https://www.nationalcac.org/find-a-cac/ They should be able to connect you all to counseling and crisis resources.
The book version of mosac.net: https://www.amazon.com/Survival-Mothers-Sexually-Abused-Children-ebook/dp/B08W3K4J3H
This board is so good to connect with other parents who have actually been there. You're not alone!