Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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teeta 08/02/2023

I am new to this board. I found out 6 days ago that my 16 year old daughter was sexually assaulted by someone that she knew. Thankfully the boy does not go to her school. She hasn't talked with me about it yet. Four days after it occurred she told her advocate that she was ready to let mom know, but that she didn't want to be there during the discussion. I texted her after and told her I love her and am here for her whenever she needs me. She hasn't been home really since it happened, spending a lot of time with friends. She left to go visit her dad out of state yesterday (he doesn't know). I am so worried about her. I know she has a great support network through her friends and her sister (she chose to tell her sister). I have tried to find a support group in my area, but we are a small rural area and there really isn't anything here. I am a social worker and the hard part for me right now is taking off my social worker hat and putting on the mom hat, letting the advocate do the heavy lifting. I just want to fix things! I want to wrap my little girl up and keep her home and safe with me. I know that wouldn't fix it, but as a mom that's what I want to do. I have all the mom feelings of guilt and what if's. What could I have done to help prevent this? What if I would have been more strict? What if????? Where do I go from here?

heartsadx3 08/05/2023

You sound like a very supportive mom and she’s lucky to have you….I was molested at 15 myself and honestly I was mad about it but it wasn’t until I was an adult that I was ever really able to fully address it and consider the impact that it had on me. But that was nothing compared to what it was like to recover from my own daughter being molested. I still can be just distraught over what ifs - and the helplessness of not being able to fix it.

I’m so glad your daughter has support she’s talking about it and just give her time to show you what she needs from you and in the meantime you can come here for support of find a counselor of your own - I found that to be very helpful in the beginning and it feels like doing something which is better than the agonizing. Hugs and healing

shattered1 08/21/2023

I think the hardest part is taking a back seat and letting others do it. I have helped others through some pretty bad situations but with this my daughter went elsewhere for help. Like you I am so glad she has the people around to do that but it does feel helpless on the sidelines. In your case probably pretty important draw the line between being the Mom she needs now and going forward rather than the social worker.
The 'what ifs' are the kicker.
I don't know where to from here - I am right here too. Take tomorrow as it comes and be there as needed.

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